Criminal Flunkees

From an armed robber who was beaten up by the cashier at the sex store he attempted to rob to a woman who filed a complaint with police after she was sold bad crack, the criminals in the following stories will always be the weakest links.

Armed Robber Beaten Up by Extra-Large Sex Toy

An attempted robbery went awry when the cashier beat up the robber using an 18” dildo she had stored underneath the register.

On July 24, 2021, CCTV footage captured a masked man brandishing a knife entering a sex shop in Russia. Demanding money, the robber thought he had an easy mark since a woman sat behind the register. She wasn't having it.

Thinking quickly, the cashier grabbed an 18” dildo from underneath the register. Without hesitation, the cashier began walking on the man’s head with the sex toy.

Startled by the unexpected attack, the would-be robber ran toward the door with the cashier on his heels giving chase. She popped the brazen burglar in the head with the extra-large dildo a few times before he vanished out the same door he came in. The man was never caught. The cashier was uninjured.

Watch the video (AFTER reading this article, of course) here:

The Crack Was Wack

If the crack is wack, don't just talk smack: fight back...And go to jail, if you're Eloise D. Reaves, an outraged woman who paid for crack, and damn it, wanted what she paid for.

In 2006, the woman approached a Putnam County sheriff’s deputy who had stopped at a convenience store asking to file a complaint. Her problem? She had just been sold “bad crack cocaine.”

The officer agreed to test the crack for Reaves, although he did tell her she’d go to jail if it confirmed the substance she’d handed him was drugs.

Maybe she bought a bad batch of crack at that time, but it is obvious that she’s had some good-good in her time that fried her brain. Why would she ever think that was a good idea?

Needless to say, Reaves was taken into custody on drug possession charges.

Woman Calls Police, Reports "Bad Meth"

Professional meth smokers like Montana woman Margery Ann Dayrider and her husband know how their drug should make them feel. The happily married couple used meth “three times a day, every day” back in 2017.

Dayrider called the police to report a batch of bad meth. She and her husband had injected themselves three times since purchasing the meth the night before and both had bad reactions. Never before had either of them experienced the side effects they did that night, from paranoia to sweating. It had to be bad meth and thought the police could help them.

Police offered Dayrider a solution: a possession of meth charge and a trip to the county jail.

Robber Knocks Out Accomplice with Brick

The two dummies attempting to rob this shop haven't been caught, although it's safe to assume their idiocy has landed them in jail a time or two since this incident.

One of the two robbers threw bricks at the glass storefront attempting to break it. The second robber ran in front of the first man as he tossed a brick toward the glass. The brick struck the robber, knocking him out cold on the concrete.

One of the bricks bounced off the glass and struck the second robber, knocking him out cold.

The incident occurred in China and was captured on surveillance camera.