Why

Does anyone else feel like they are living the same day over and over and over again?

I get up. I go to work. I come home. I'm exhausted. I go to bed.

I get up. I go to work. I come home. I'm exhausted. I go to bed.

I feel like I'm always waiting for my life to go to the next step, and then when I realize what's happening- 3 years has gone by. How do we get out of this rut that was created for us? We over-work ourselves NOW so we can have money and do fun stuff when we are OLD. How does that make any sense?

I think that's why I have such an unhealthy relationship with money. I'm pretty sure my family makes enough to sufficiently buy what we need, and build a savings, but somehow we can't manage to. We splurge. On the little things that make us happy. Or the toys that make our kids happy. Deep down I know we need to stop spending so frivolously- but at the same time- why? Why should I have to tell my child he can't have something because we are saving up to do fun things when he'll be out of the house and Mom and Dad will be 65?

I know it's silly to look at it like this. And I have been taught from a very early age to save, save, save. And I have role models that have done just that and have created themselves a great nest egg for living out the rest of their lives- but I want that life NOW. I don't want to wait until I'm 65 to enjoy life. This seems insane.

I yearn for adventure, and travel, and FUN. And that's not what our society wants for us. And the people who DO manage to live how they want to live at a younger age get scrutinized for wasting money, or wasting time, or living 'wrong.' I, myself, judge those people. But my judgement is rooted in jealousy.

I wish I could just pick up and take my kids to see the wonders of the world, and soak in everything this Earth has to offer. But, I can't. I have to work 5 days a week. 40+ hours a week. Day in, day out. Working, and collecting, hoping to pay off my student loans before my kids need loans themselves.

I'm not saying I should get anything for free. I'm not in agreement with that- I just wish there was a way to enjoy our lives without that incessant 'waiting' to retire before we can be happy. And then half the time, when people retire, they've accustomed themselves so much to working every day, they don't even know what to do with themselves, and end up restless anyways. The whole cycle is crazy!

My life truly is amazing- and I cannot complain about the abundance I've been given. I have a roof over my head, two amazing, smart kids...I know I have it so, so good. But is it so wrong to just wish for a little more for my kids? I want them to be smart about finances, but I also want them to live their lives to the absolutely fullest. See the things we weren't able to see. Do the things we weren't able to do. But- I also still want to do those things! Why should I have to NOT do them, or wait until I'm retired. See!! It's such a crazy whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Do I save more and stay home, or do we splurge and create memories that last forever?

I know I probably sound crazy- but I can't be the only one who feels stuck in a little hamster ball of financial vs. happy life confusion?!