Why I dislike writing about relationships, especially when other people are involved

What happened, why they failed, and generally, talk about them. Here is the thing, I was angry for so long, and if you had asked me to write about my past relationships years ago, I would have had pages and pages to write on one specific topic.

Now, no, I have no advice about relationships.

Except they are work, and they are complicated, and they are always worth it, no matter how they end. Each of us knows someone in a bad one, and each of us knows someone in a good one.

Since I have been in both, I defer to those who enjoy writing about them, and that person is not me.

Plus, writing has helped me work out so many issues that I did not realize I had. Some days I think I can write about what happened when I was married over 15 years ago, and then I sit to write and realize no, I can’t. It takes two to tango, mainly because I do not want to, and we both did our fair share of destruction.

I have processed most of it by writing my way through other issues in more current relationships and even through other people’s stories. I live by the mantra that what you focus on more will show up.

I prefer to focus on healthy relationships as opposed to negative ones.

I still learn something new about myself from strangers I meet. I have met people, and I wonder what the hell is going on inside of their heads, and usually, I am a mess at the moment.

I am the one who is seeing that because I am that.

Every person I interact with has a quality that is being amplified within me at that very moment, and it is not always pleasant. Each person I encounter could be because I am angry that day; naturally, I run into 4 billion angry people.

Recently I have been reading about Nikola Tesla; how fascinating. One of the original, well, now he would be a TikTok or Instagram star or the leader of the ¨boss babes¨ for mantras. I joke, but he was the OG of the power of your mind as he quoted:

“Most persons are so absorbed in the contemplation of the outside world that they are wholly oblivious to what is passing on within themselves.” — Nikola Tesla.

And yes, he worked with electricity, and even some say the original inventor of the light bulb, and known for his work with alternating current electricity.

Yet he also believed in the power of visualization; when he was a child, his parents gave him daily lessons to train his memory, reasoning, and critical thinking.

He would imagine his inventions before creating them and have it mapped out before starting.

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” — Nikola Tesla.

It leads me to believe what you think is what you become or what develops. I do believe this, my attitude is not always pleasant, and I often have to have a come to Jesus moment with myself to determine wtf is going on with me.

It’s always me; it is never the other person. The other person is only a mirror for me to see what I need or needed to work on in my own life.

In reality, I do write about relationships, sometimes, and writing is always a mirror and my daily journal. Plus, once I get a thought out of my head or a negative emotion down on paper (or screen), I can let it go.

I will talk about dreams until they come to fruition, which is how I have always been. I am not a keep-it-secret, so you let no one down.

I’m afraid I have to disagree with that philosophy; the only person I care about letting down is myself. If I say I will do something and change my mind, that’s life.

We are meant to change our minds, yet the big dreams are the ones that take time, planning, and work, the ones you can’t stop thinking about or dreaming. Isn’t that the same as visualization?

They are not the ¨ I am going to visit Nepal, but changed to Spain ¨ as my grandmother would say; whoop di-do, who cares.

Do what makes you happy. Yet the big dreams are the big juicy ones, like a song stuck in your head, and until you hear it in your car and belt it out, it will forever be stuck in your head until you at least try it.

The ones you can’t stop thinking about. The one I am living was a dream once, and now I have a new one.

XOXO

S