When things go wrong

When I was 8, my brother owned a candy store where he sold candy to the kids in our neighborhood. He made good money doing it and often enlisted my siblings and me to help him run the store. He sold tootsie rolls for a penny apiece, he sold licorice, snow cones, candy bars, and Laffy Taffy. As long as he marked up the price on it, he made a profit. Well, he finally got into mowing lawns and turned the candy store business over to us. Well, we had no idea how to manage a candy store. Nor did we know what things would cost. We took advantage of our family, but I was the only one that got caught. I was stealing change from my Dad to buy candy. First, it started out as forty cents in the laundry basket. Next, it was sixty cents in the laundry hamper, and this continued for about a month. Finally, I was in the car with my Mom, and she knew what I was up to. I'm not sure what it is about Moms who have a sixth sense about what their children are doing. With me, she knew and finally got me to confess. She wasn't angry, but she did insist I tell my Dad. After all, it was him that I was stealing from. If you knew my Dad, you knew when you delivered bad news to him. It never went well. I planned it out and that night after dinner I told him. The level of rage on my Father's face cannot be described. You see, my Dad was a police officer, and theft was a very big deal to him. So, my punishment was that he put my arms behind my back and handcuffed me. He read me my rights as he was walking me out the door. All my siblings and their friends were in the driveway. A look of shock set in on their faces as we passed by them. My Dad was still in uniform, so I can only imagine how this looked to everyone in the neighborhood. I could hear the whispers as we walked past them. "What did she do?" "How scary", and there was even some laughter mixed in. Never have I ever been more embarrassed than I was at that moment. He opened the door to his police car, put his hand on my head, and forced me to sit in the back seat. I was sobbing by this point, and absolutely believed he was taking me to jail. I didn't know what jail looked like, but I did know that's where bad people went. I didn't want to be a bad person. He radioed in to dispatch that he was in his vehicle, as they were required to do so. However, I could barely hear what he was saying over my sobs. To me, he was telling them that he had a young lady in the car, and he was taking me to jail. He started the car, and drove through the neighborhood, and turning out of the neighborhood. He asked me "Do you know what you did wrong?" Between sobs, I answered "Yes", and then he asked me "Are you ever going to do it again". I could barely get the words out and said "No", and he turned around and drove me back home. The problem was everyone was still outside in front of my house. I was beyond embarrassed at this point.

My second, most embarrassing story of all time was by far the worst thing that can ever really happen to you publicly. I suffered from IBS and never knew what each day would bring with that. I had a doctor's appointment one day, and my drive to his office was at least 45 minutes. I tried to plan for this, but as anyone who suffers from IBS knows just how horrible that disability is. I wasn't 15 minutes into my drive and in the middle of nowhere when it struck me. I thought I could hold out, I thought I could make it. Everything seemed perfectly fine until it wasn't. I remembered a gas station was off the exit I had come to, so I turned on my turn signal and prepared to exit. By this point, my stomach was in knots and I did not feel well at all. I rushed to the gas station, parked my car, and immediately jumped out of the vehicle. I rushed inside only to find a line of about 8 people waiting to go. It was serious by this point, and we were all in desperation. There was only one bathroom stall, and we were all stuck. I remember wanting to cry because I could not hold it much longer. Let alone wait for the line of people ahead of me to go to the bathroom. I was patient, each person at first went in and came out very quickly. Then the person in front of me did not come out of the bathroom. I waited and waited. Finally, I crossed my legs and tried desperately to take my mind to another place completely. All to no avail. I could not hold it any longer and while standing there waiting for the bathroom I lost it. All the people in the store turned to look at me. The smell, that was worse than anything you could ever imagine. I was mortified. Within seconds after this happened, the person who was before exited the bathroom. If only I had been able to wait just two minutes longer. I'm impressed that I lasted 30 minutes, but those two extra minutes my body just couldn't handle it. So, I entered the bathroom to try to clean everything up. Let me just say this, I left that gas station with what was once a white shirt and had now turned brown. I'm not even sure how it happened. It just did, and I drove home. I called my doctor, explained the situation and they didn't bill me for missing my visit. I knew when I left the gas station people were staring because they'd been there for a majority of my downfall. All I have to say is if you know you've got to go. Don't hesitate, find a place to stop and avoid embarrassment at all costs.