What would you tell your 20 year old self about Women?

As Doc Emmett Brown said in “Back to the Future III”, “… the other great mystery of the Universe — women”

I know that everyone’s experiences and maturity were different when they were the tender age of 20, but in my case, I was one fresh, immature individual.

A large percentage of my group of friends were women, who were nothing more.

It also was a time before the internet, meaning that my communications with women were either face-to-face, or over the landline phone.

Today I see myself then as being a “late bloomer’, as I met my first girlfriend at that time. It was at a church youth camp, and although we hit it off well, she lived way across the other side of Melbourne, where I was living at that time.

We wrote many letters to each other, and I eagerly waited for her letters to arrive. Unfortunately the distance led to the end of this relationship, as we rarely saw each other.

Not long afterwards, I met another girl, who fortunately lived much closer. We soon grew very close, in many ways.

She introduced me to her parents and brother, who very warmly accepted this friendly immature guy with a steady job in a bank and his own Toyota Corona.

What would I tell 20 year old Mark?

Well it goes like this…

At the time, a group of friends and I had started our own independent band, of which I was the lead singer. We were on the verge of playing our very first pub gig, and the band had decided that my voice and singing was not what they wanted (a bit like Dewy getting kicked out of the Band in “School of Rock”).

As a result, I was no longer a part of the band. As it turned out, the situation was unlike the movie. These guys were my friends, and I took it well. I was replaced by two girl singers (who could sing well), and I was invited to their first gig. It went well, and…. the band broke up after that. To this day, I do not know why.

I was also studying an Accounting Degree part-time, and because of the band commitments, work and a big social calendar, I did not give it the priority I should have. As a result, I failed it.

What did I tell my girlfriend?

This is where I look back and say: “What were you thinking, you boofhead?”

Instead of being honest with her, I was scared that she would see me as a loser. I told her that I had left the band, as it was no longer what I wanted to do, and that I no longer wanted to study part-time, so I had quit the degree.

She didn’t say much when I told her, but even now I wonder what she thought.

We continued our relationship, but somehow it wasn’t the same. Four months later, she asked me to go on a drive with her, to a national park picnic ground, where she broke up with me. She didn’t tell me why. Also, I didn’t ask her, as she was quite upset and I didn’t want to push the issue.

I would tell myself that honesty is a firm building block of any relationship, even if it means exposing your weaknesses a failings. Tell her! That means that you respect her.

As it turned out, after we broke up, I continued my accounting studies at a tertiary level, which eventually led to me attaining Bachelor of Commerce.

Musically, I accepted that vocal is not my strongpoint, and branched out from just playing flute to learning alto saxophone. I still play for the Mt Barker Concert Band to this day.

After this, while there were opportunities for me to form new relationships, I chose the single life until I met my first wife two years later.

Since then, I have had life lessons learnt from relationships and marriages.

I am thankful for the amazing person who is now my wife, and, yes, I respect her and am honest with her. She knows my weaknesses and failings and loves me anyway.