What a tiny sperm did to me!

There is nothing more awful and dreaded by teenage girls like sperms. As the saying goes "books before boys , because boys bring babies", and it all starts with a tiny little sperm.

When I became a young women, I continued to stay as far away from the white creamy liquid as womanly possible. Putting my faith and germo phobe hands on the thickest rubbers that will make even a surgeon proud.

However, this thing called love happened. And in the heat of the moment, as lovers are known to do, the precious rubbers were forgotten.

The first meeting with Mr Sperm was a happy ending accompanied by a warm fuzzy feeling which lasted as long as my lovers embrace. The next morning was like waking up from a hangover after a heavy night of drinking cheap college wine.

Awful, to say the least. What if? Was followed by a quick dash to the pharmacist, who conveniently didn't have, any of the morning after your first meeting with Mr Sperm detox must have. The following weeks were even more dreadful, as I anxiously waited for Miss Red's visit. Fortunately, she arrived just in time.

The next lovers meeting was met with laughter and a sigh of relief.

"Boy, it could have been worse", we said.

But it was. We just didn't know it yet.We had fallen in love with the dreaded creamy white creatures. It seemed cruel to trap them in a clear rubber and flush them down a cold drain. So we welcomed them one more time, as a gesture of goodwill following our first encounter, I suppose. This was followed by a second and a third time until we lost count.

Where they any consequences to these reckless meetings, other than a warm fuzzy feeling. Surely, there were. An unbreakable friendship was created between a woman and the once dreaded sperm.

This article comes with a “do not try this if you are under 18" and a "do not try this if you have an early morning presentation at work”. This is because of the obvious side effects, such as an inability to stop smiling and staring into space, a glow on your skin that makes your colleagues ask the obvious. You probably thinking, click bait. That’s because you probably clicked on this with a negative view of Mr Sperm. You assumed that he led me to lay down with my legs spread wide open on a cold hospital bed surrounded by strangers. While staring at a hairy male doctor poking me with some metal object trying to remove a whole human beign from my vagina. If you are a germophobe like me you probably thought that there was a rush to the clinic at some point to treat something fishy. Dear reader, thats where you are wrong. You are unfortunately very mistaken. And your assumptions about Mr Sperm are wrong to say the least. I did not get one negative thing after meeting him I got all of the above.

So, what happens next. Well, with all the negative publicity that Mr Sperm has gotten over the years, its safe to say that all of them are not without merit. Sperms have taken quite a beating for may years and have failed to defend themselves. I suppose its hard to defend yourself when you always tied in a narrow plastic.

Some scientists however, have come to the rescue of these poor fellows. Through years of research they have let us know the benefits of healthy sperms in a woman's body, other than, pro creation of course. Things like sperms becomes proteins or contribute to an even better after glow were mentioned over the years. The most weird defenders of these fellows has come from YouTubers. With others advocating for the nutritional value of sperms when swallowed and the creepiest of them all saying these creamy buddies will make your skin glow when applied as a face mask or a face cream. Talk of taking things literally. Happy endings!