Welcome to 55

So I have been told I look 42 as well as now in my fifties. Until now, I looked in the mirror and didn't see much wrong with my neck. But I took a selfie not long ago, and OMG, my neck tells my age. It is an awful sight. I can't stand it, so here I am buying firming neck creams and anti-aging devices and doing neck exercises that can't work in any way. All this does not work fast enough! The horrid dips an excess skin the turkey neck going on. I hear embrace getting older while they let their grey grow out, yet i see their beautiful necks and almost flawless faces.

Not only is the neck going on, but so is that dreaded change with hot flashes. And the impossible to lose extra weight, I can't seem to lose it.

Let us not forget some nights not falling asleep till five am only to wake up a couple of hours later by someone.

I want to go back in time and make drastically different decisions in my life. I want a do-over of this life. Please magically send me back to a younger self so I can make other decisions. I have thoughts of many flying around in my head and others coming from nowhere joining in.

Try feeling exhausted most of the day and wanting to run away to a beach with no one around. My next thought is FAT CHANCE because There are people everywhere. At the age of 32, I started perimenopause, and at age 55, I finally have a few months without a period so far. Yes, the incredible effects of aging the unorganized thought and forgetfulness.

So now I take a supplement called DIM with estrogen. It helps with energy and thought and feels lighter with vitamin B12 complex and vitamin D3 and because of the time's Elderberry.

So now, let's get back to the neck exercises. As Im watching these videos, I think to myself, why not just lay a wrist weight across my forehead, hang my head off the edge of the bed and slowly lift my head up and down? After all, I do not have a lot of time to waste, do I? Now get this we women are willing to take needles and derma rollers and roll over our skin, pretty much injuring it, so it regenerates and tightens up. Then you have the other things that zap you. News flash if you buy the milk elixir from Walmart and apply from the dropper, no rubbing, then take your derma wand or something like it. Believe it or not, it does not zap but acts like a tens machine for the face contracting the muscle. Just think, for a year, I was zapping the surface because I was not using suitable serums.

Life is unfair as when you get older, you have less energy to do the things to fight aging or even the day-to-day demands.

To myself, you were so dumb over the years to look at you now still working full-time to make it—no savings, no retirement, you're an idiot.

Im tired a lot of the time, and what do I have to look forward to today in and day out of working till I die. And the world now is so tolerant of people being outright mean to people and letting them victimize each other. My aging has brought me to today, everyone being so negative and critical of everything and everyone. I think I remember judge not lest ye be judged. I am defiant in this aging and age. I still find I want more and better. Why not? I still exist right now, so shouldn't I? I refuse to let nature take its course on my appearance and mind and fight every wrinkle and every sag with everything I can.