Walked Away

I walked away because you were too busy finding faults in me while I was too busy overlooking yours. (The Modern Break-up) Novel.

Most of us don’t even realize that we are too busy finding faults in others instead of fixing the internal issues that we all face daily. I have found myself in this very situation for years, and the funny thing about all of this is that most times, I am the one that is always overlooking someone else’s bull shit because the other person feels like they have to be right all the time. When you have someone in your inner space, this delusional, you already know that some profound changes need to be made.

I love it when someone tries to play the blame game when they know that they do not have a leg to stand on when you are right about something that the other person has done to you. I am the kind of woman that I automatically seek the good in others until you prove me wrong. I am not the type of woman that holds grudges, but at the same time, I will not be a doormat for you to keep coming at me sideways with all your negative bull shit.

I know that I overlooked many of your faults because I thought we were friends and sisters, but I see now that we were never sisters. I say we were never sisters because you are the one that is so quick to pull up all the faults that I have not even tried to remember that I was just as broken in heart and mind as you currently still are. Now I am not throwing shade here; it is just my reality with you. I have mastered the art of saying less to you because you do not know how to mentally communicate with me on any level, so for this reason, is why I say less to you. You do not deserve any more attention from me because when I was giving you the attention, you tend to get all extra, and you tend to make the unnecessary occur, and I just don’t have that kind of time to waste.

I have always seen things like this; if you have been in my space for more than two years, you should already know how I move and operate as a person. I follow all the rules that you have set in place, even though I already know that half of them are petty as shit. I don’t judge you for your lifestyle, and I don’t do anything to set you off on a mental trip; however, you must understand that I am not the one to be played with. I am a whole fucking woman, and I have grandchildren, so if you want me to still be cool with you, you have to learn how to take your own advice. I chose to walk away from you not because you are wrong but because you are too broken for me to try and help. You are so quick to find fault with me that it is crazy, so I have to move in silence around you to protect myself mentally and physically. I know now that I can not confide in you about anything because you have a habit of throwing up something we have discussed in my face, like my past. I am not struggling, and I am not broken, and the sooner you realize that, the better we will be. As for me, I am still going to continue to let my light shine, and it is going to shine even brighter now because I have made a choice to put myself first before anyone else.