Dreaming of living.

What is the dream of living?

What is the dream of living? It is the right question for me in my life because I have been struggling with some personal issues for years, and they have been haunting me since I was a child. The life that I thought I was living is still valid within itself, but some of the past are lies, making it challenging to understand. When you are a positive person like I am, there will be days that you don’t feel like being in the company of others, let alone yourself. There have been days that I just thought I should give up, and my inner self has always been in the background saying, don’t you dear, give up. There have been moments where I have been overlooked, passed up, and just ignored by others. Going through these things hurt me because, in my mind, I thought that others loved me, and it was this type of thinking that made me relook at myself. I learned along the way that I had to be hidden for a lot of reasons. My light is too big for others to see right now, and there are still some lessons that I need to master before I can go to the next level. I know now that I was hiding because if I let myself out too soon, I would mess things up even more for myself. After everything that I had been through, I needed to be hidden because I was still broken. Now I am not saying that I am not still broken in some places, but I know for a fact that I am not as broken as I used to be.

What is living the dream?

Living the dream means I can say no to people, places, and environments that are not healthy for me. I can confidently move through life knowing that I am worthy of all that I have promised myself. Once I made the intentional effort never to see myself cry again behind someone else’s ignorance, I learned that I could do more than cry myself to sleep at night because I allowed someone to do me wrong. I am not afraid of the past trauma and just living my life, not scared to live my truth even if others don’t believe me or support me.

Living my dream means I can speak my truth and let my voice be heard so that others can see that I am still in control. I do not come from a background of the rich and famous; I come from a set of brokenness, and even with all of these broken pieces, I still empower myself. I have not failed because those to me were learning lessons to grow and progress. Guilt is accurate, and once I realized that I had to let go of the guilt and forgive others, it became easier for me to move on. Once you forgive someone for something that has happened, it changes a piece of you on the inside. Meaning, you have to move in the positive way that you have just released. Your motivation and fuel have changed from negative to positive. Once this happens, you have to recognize the emotions and then remember how they made you feel. Understanding your feeling first is the key to your mental health. Learning how to understand your feelings and then move to operate in those positive feelings is fantastic. All of this comes from forgiving others, and I do not mean just forgiving them for them. You are doing it for yourself. I have learned that I had to forgive myself first before I could forgive others.