Two True Stories Of Love On The Rocks

True story number 1

I once met a girl in Spain who told her story and it really was quite unbelievable. Maria, not her real name, was betrothed to some guy from Germany. The marriage date was set, the wedding dress was bought, the invitations sent out, the church, hotel and reception were booked and paid for. A few days before the big day Maria got a telephone call from the boy's mother saying he had been involved in a serious car crash in Germany and had sadly passed away.

As you can imagine this was a terribly upsetting time for Maria and all she could think of was her boyfriend's poor family. However, when Maria offered to book a flight immediately to go to Germany for the funeral the boy's mother pleaded with her not to go to all that trouble. The mother said the family would much rather be left to grieve in peace just with close family around to console them. Maria took a sympathetic view of the request and did as she was asked, even though she would have loved to have paid her last respects.

In time Maria got over the loss and tried to forge a new life for herself. She wasn't dating anybody, but she was trying to move her life forward in part by getting out and about. One weekend Maria booked a weekend away in Madrid on her own.

On the Saturday of her weekend away Maria went to some her and her deceased fiancé's old haunts. One of their favourite places was a well known tourist spot, close to the centre of the city. As Maria got off the bus and started to walk down the street she stopped dead in her tracks in a great state of shock. There on the other side of the street was her deceased boyfriend romantically entwined with another very young and attractive female.

Maria tried not to get too emotional and cry, which must have been difficult to say the least, and eventually came to her senses. Maria felt a whole range of things, joyful that he was alive afterall, anger at his deception, sadness that he was with somebody else and self recrimination for not being good enough. She crossed the street and went straight up to the happy couple. She confronted the boy head on.

"Oh my God, it's you! But wait a moment, You......you're dead." She said. Then she turned to the girl and said "Oh I'm so sorry, you see, we were going to get married and it was all booked and paid for. Well then his mother called me to say he had died in a car crash.And that was the last I knew of this guy until just now!"

The boy exclaimed "I'm sorry, you've made a terrible mistake, I don't know who you are, I have never met you in my life. I'm sorry for your loss. Now if you don't mind, we have to be going."

"But Wolf, it is you, I'm sure you still have that tattoo just above your penis.The one that says Maria, my name! Or did you tell this young lady that I had died too!"

"Well actually he did, that is exactly what he told me. He said you had died in a car crash. And I felt so sorry for him. In fact that is how we got together, me feeling sorry for him. I think you and I need to have a chat." she said to Maria.

Then she turned to Wolf and said "As for you, well you died didn't you? You're just Wolf's ghost and I'm sorry, but I don't date ghosts. I suggest you take a hike and and leave us two ladies alone. Go and tell your fairy stories to some other poor soul, we are done with you." And the two ladies went off to spend a very happy weekend together exploring Madrid. Even better, the two ladies became life long friends to this day.

True story number 2

Of course, it is not just men who turn out to be rats. About thirty years ago I met a guy who told me the following harrowing tale, though harrowing as it was, he did in the end get the upper hand. Just prior to Ted's wedding he discovered that his wife to be was having an affair with his best man no less. Ted said nothing, he had other plans.

The wedding went ahead and everybody headed back to the hotel where a splendid reception was waiting. It wasn't too grandiose a reception, quite modest in fact, but it was her entire family who paid for and organised the event.

Just as everybody sat down Ted started to circulate the tables meeting and greeting everybody. Tucked under Ted's arm was a big batch of A4 manilla envelopes. At each table Ted smiled said hello and thank you for coming. Then just as he left each table he placed one of the envelopes on the table top with strict instructions to not open it until every body had a copy.

Eventually every table had an envelope and Ted mounted the podium to make a speech. "Ladies and gentleman, thank you all for coming, it really is a wonderful pleasure to see you all. Now I have some exciting news for you regarding my lovely new life, Sandra. You see, earlier this week I was truly surprised to discover that said lovely wife had told a friend of hers how much she would to have one of those new BMW mini's......" Ted turned to Sandra on his left. and smiled at her. Sandra looked a little puzzled at what was going on but put on a radiant smile, perhaps Ted had bought her that new Mini she had said she wanted. Maybe that was what was in the envelopes she had seen him giving out. Envelopes full of full colour photographs of a sparkling new Mini for a wedding present. Ted Continued.

"I was also shocked to discover that she has been having an affair with my best man, Bernard here....." Ted let that sink in a moment before he went on. Sandra's Dad was not amused, seeing his precious little angel starting to cry and sob "It's not true Ted, what are you saying?" Sandra's Dad shouted from his seat at the table "Now hang on there Ted, you need bloody proof before you start gobbing off like that about my Sandra, she's not like that Ted. You can damn well take that back and apologise before I give you a smack in the face...."

Ted ignored the deceitful Sandra and her Dad. "Ladies and gentlemen. You can now open you envelopes to see that what I say is true."

People began to gingerly open the envelopes. Out came full colour photographs of sweet and innocent Sandra and Bernard totally naked and bang at it in Bernard's car.

"As you can see ladies and gentlemen, what I said is true. You have all the proof you need. As for me, I am now going to file for a divorce on the grounds of Sandra's adultery. Please do enjoy your food and drink, Sandra's father has already paid for it all, so you may as well at least have a meal and drink out it. As for you Sandra.......I have nothing at all to say to you. You're just not worth it. Bernard, go fuck yourself mate. Bye"

As Ted left the podium all he could hear was a commotion of mutterings and insults "You bastard, you dirty rotten bastard....."

"Well, I must say Sandra, you do surprise me." said her old Aunty Alice.

"Oh my God, who would have thought....." said her Uncle Tom

"Hey up Bert, are you going to put up with that crap......" said another uncle to Sandra's Dad.

Ted bearly escaped with his life. He ran to his car where his brother was waiting with the engine running. Ted jumped in and said to his brother "Quick, go bro....before this mob fools catch up with me." And with that they were gone.

I swear that these are both true stories as I knew the people involved. Some may say Ted was out of order to get his own back in that way, that he ought to have just walked away from Sandra before the wedding went ahead. In his defence, I suppose he was coming from a place of great hurt and his treatment of Sandra was all she deserved. Do let me know if you think different.