Three gifts that sobriety has given me over the past three years

I should clarify that sobriety (for me) is no alcohol, as everyone’s idea of sobriety is different. Alcohol, to me, is the most toxic substance, along with sugar you can consume, and both, of course legal.

My sugar consumption is not on the chopping block but one substance at a time.

When I decided to quit drinking three years ago, it was not the first time. I knew that my body did not do well with alcohol, and I noticed I drank for the wrong reasons, as well as I have always had the worst hangovers, thinking it was normal.

Instead, like most of our bodies, my body is not equipped to handle alcohol.

So one day during quarantine, after I drank a bottle of wine the night before, out of boredom, and anxiety, I woke up with the worst hangover and decided I would never touch alcohol again. That was it.

Easy right, ok that was not it. I listened to so many sober books, podcasts, and youtube videos. The first million times I tried sobriety, I lost most of my drinking friends, plus this time I was abroad.

I thought maybe it would be easier. However, it was easier because before quarantine, I was nine months sober, and then I drank about five times in one month and resumed my sobriety.

Why, well, I started dating, I went out, I struggled with saying no to a drink, and then the slippery slope continued. When I drank, I thought I could just drink one, and then the same things happened, I drank when I was depressed, angry, sad, and emotional, and the hangovers only got worse, and I was spending too much money.

Most of my old friends already thought I quit, but since I did not live near them, they had no idea I had a semi-relapse. This time I decided to do it my way, and I became a non-drinker, not an alcoholic, not an ex-drinker, not a person who can’t handle her liquor, a full-on non-drinker, and it’s non-negotiable.

No, I do not care if it’s one sip or one bottle, I do not care if you are giving me a shot and feel I owe it to take, I do not care if you are the host at my guesthouse and it is customary to try your homemade wine (this happened today). I say no, and that does not waiver.

Since it has been three years, I was thinking, what did I learn in these three years?

What has sobriety given me?

Sobriety has been a gift that was given to me when I prayed; I cherish the gift as if it is my life because it is.

The gift of my youth.

When traveling, it is common for people to ask your age. Why I have no idea, I also get asked this when people find out I am single and do not have children.

Usually, they want to fix me up out of curiosity. It happened to me about an hour ago. I have always looked younger than my age; I like to thank my grandmother’s genetics.

However, since I stopped drinking, I have noticed the wrinkles are fading, and my body is more hydrated. My skin is not dry like it used to be. I also have time to wake up and go to bed with a good skin routine.

This has also helped, but I am not too hungover or drunk to remember my skincare. So skincare + no drinking makes my skin glow; I often get that I look at least ten years younger than I am, and today someone thought I was 25.

He is my new favorite person, but I know I look at least in my 30s, and I am not trying to look younger, but knowing that quitting alcohol is not showing outwardly means my internal body is also thriving.

The gift of consistency.

I would love to add routine, but with traveling, it is nearly impossible to have a solid routine but consistency.

I should add also getting away from a drinker has also helped me be consistent. I do not go out late. Therefore, I can wake up and write, film, edit, and work on my craft.

I have been a struggling solopreneur for years. Always chasing the next big thing, I was that person. If I follow their instructions, it will work; that is not the case for me.

First, I had no idea what I wanted, and someone else’s dream was not mine. However, after about a year of sobriety, I began writing, which was the end of the story. Just kidding, I am still rolling, but now at year 3, seriously, I feel way more energized, empowered, and consistent.

I have ramped up and consistently post on my YT channel; I am consistent here and have a goal for the future.

This just happened, but sobriety brings clarity, but it takes time.

It is not instant. Like being a solopreneur, it takes years of hard work, learning, dedication, and knowing what you want. Yet when you have a goal and wake up hungover, or your friends enjoy a night out, and it interrupts your schedule, that is a killer.

At least for me, it was. I would get so far, and then I would have a girl’s weekend and get deflated that I wasn’t where I wanted to be, and I knew alcohol was the dream killer.

Since I let it go, my dreams are actively in motion and are not slowing down anytime soon. Giving it up has allowed me to become consistent. Some days I miss a day, or it’s late, but usually, it is travel, or I was sitting in the garden having watermelon with a family (today).

Yet I am not sitting there drinking, so when I am done, I come to work and continue my plan.

The gift of love

The biggest one for me. I was so unhappy, so I drank. I was unhappy traveling and disappointed I was not happy doing anything. Alcohol is a depression, so the more you drink, the more you sit in your misery.

At least for me, when I was sad, I drank when I was happy. I never allowed myself to feel real feelings.

Why am I happy?

Why am I sad?

Instead, let’s cover those up. Usually, when I was happy, I was afraid; it’s impossible to be happy; let’s destroy that feeling.

When I was sad, I felt the same; why can’t I be happy? Oh yea, because I will not allow that feeling, let’s drink. It became a vicious cycle that I knew I had to stop.

Yet how then I drank because I didn’t know what to do. It was easy, stop.

Since I stopped drinking, I have learned to feel, which is weird. Sometimes, I notice tears in my eyes out of happiness, sadness, joy, excitement, you name it, and I tear up.

I think so many years of suppressing my feelings has finally ended. I am content.

My last relationship took me so long to get over because I never grieved any of my prior relationships. I went to the bar.

I was not grieving my ex, but all of my exes, and it is still in the process, but much better than a few months ago. Yet this would never have been possible if I did not love myself enough to stop drinking, stop poisoning myself.

Self-love for me was only possible when I stopped doing the one thing that was the block. Do I still struggle? I am human; the aliens have not come for me yet.

I do not do mantras about self-love. I do not have self-love days; for me, it is a lifestyle, not an Instagram hashtag; I love myself enough never to drink again.

It is about loving myself so I can let others in to be loved; it is about putting myself first and not backing down from what I want.

I am the only me, and you are the only you. No one will ever love you more than you, and no one will ever hate you more than you.

There are many more benefits, but as my 3rd anniversary, I chose only the three biggest ones.

I should clarify why I said alcohol only. I smoke a week, maybe once a year; I did ayahuasca in Peru and do psychedelics if pacha mama presents the opportunity.

XOXO

S