The Unsaid...!

I could hear his laughter, so rich and velvety, as if it was like a melody that people would wish to listen to while reminiscing about the moments spent in the bliss of being in love. Watching him talking to everyone in the room, was like a thorn piercing my heart making it bleed not blood but melancholy. He was like a moon, admired by all. whereas, it seems I was just a falling star, hidden under the shadows of gloomy clouds, ready to break down into the darkness of the universe and found by none.

His presence was enough to create chaos, in the room and in my heart. The moment his eyes turned to my side, I moved more into the darkly-lit corner, wanting never to be seen by him as always. Even the mere thought of being struck by his gaze was enough to make my skin tingle. It was very terrifying how just the image of being enveloped in his arms could keep me at peace. I stood there a little more to drink in him and left the hallway--wishing to never cross paths with him.

He shines bright, and I disguise myself great!

I can not even imagine how I managed to survive this long, carrying all the unsaid words of adoration that could never be voiced out by me. It was not that I was insecure about myself, it was just my racing heart that stops beating altogether whenever he moves past me. It was the haunting thoughts always reminding me how I could potentially break, as beautiful as him, beyond repair. A million questions invading my mind and halting my steps in mid-way, every time I gather the unsurmountable courage to let my existence be known to him.

I was not terrified of falling in love with him, I was scared of taking that one step which might possibly turn out to be an ultimate ruination of our fragile hearts. You could call it an act of self-preservation, or at least that's what I perceive it to be.

life doesn't give you second chances. Sometimes, you have to create it yourself. And be wise about what you decide to do with it. Coming to me, I always got what I wanted, so I wasn't ever needed to wait for the second chance, let alone create one. I always got what I desired for. Every thing was going perfect, until I had laid my eyes on her. She was like a star, bright, gorgeous, mesmerizing and magical. So close to look at, yet so far to touch.

The urge to be held by her, was almost painful. It was like an ill person, hopefully waiting for the something, to cure the uncurable disease. She might not even spare a glance at me, but here I would have my heart go all frenzy just by assuming how it would feel to be loved by her. I would dive right into anything I seek. however, if it was about her, I would always be a coward. Wherever, she was concerned I would want nothing but to be whoever she would love to grin at.

Loving her made me to be a stronger version of myself. I know it would take me just a moment to let the world see how crazy I was about her. But, there was something that held me back, every single time. It was not a fear of getting rejected, I was intimidated of a possibility of having her giving me all. I don't deserve it, at least that's what I believe. I am incapable of loving someone, perhaps it was what pulled me back from going in to more deeper. I don't care about being hurt by her. Hell, having my heart by her would be a privilege. But, I would rather myself killed than breaking hers.

She might not be mine, but I would always belong to her. Forever.