The Time My Google Assistant Tried to Get Me the WRONG Date

To this day, my cheeks flush and I press my lips tightly together before shaking my head in rueful laughter about the time my Google Assistant tried to set up a secretive rendezvous for me with a married man!

I am a busy mama. The youngest of my 5 kids was born just 3 months after their daddy passed away leaving me a young widow. This is important to my story for several reasons.

1. I'm always looking for ways to save time and be more efficient. So, when I was introduced to my Google Assistant I was overjoyed, hallelujah, now I could accomplish more in the down time of driving kids places.
2. I'm much too busy and distracted to even consider dating.
3. It is very important to me to not give the wrong impression to people. I'm very careful and proper about my relationships and try to never give the wrong idea.

* * * * * * * *

As I rushed out the door and hoped in my large SUV, a million thoughts were racing through my head as usual. Not the least of these being that it had been awhile since I had reached out to a friend who had been sad recently.

Speeding back up to 30 mph as I left the school zone I turned my head slightly and yelled at my phone, "OK Google, text Alexis,"

"Text Alexi…. What's your message?" She replied efficiently.

"Hey, do you want to sneak out for tea later one of these evenings?"

"Ok. Message sent."

Check. I had reached out. She would know I was thinking about her and hopefully we could grab tea and catch up later this week.

On with the rest of my busy day!

Upon arriving home in time to get dinner ready and on the table before the evening activities commenced, I left my phone in my pocket.

Towards the end of dinner I broke the family rule about no cell phones at the table quickly checking to see if there was any urgent business that needed my attention.

"What's wrong mom?" I looked up quickly, my face red, my eyes huge and horrified.

"Um. Yes. No. I don't know."

The kids looked back at me, reflecting concern.

"It's ok," I sighed "I just made a terrible and very embarrassing mistake." I lowered my head to my right hand, rubbing my face as if trying to erase the entire mess…..

The word embarrassing got their full attention and my children, the same one's I often had to call repeatedly to finish a task, were all ears.

Sighing again I tried to explain.

"You know my friend, Alexis?"

They nodded. "Well I sent her a text earlier today to see if we could meet at a restaurant and have a visit one of these evenings."

The kids were beginning to lose interest.

"That's not embarrassing."

"No," I agreed, pausing and feeling the embarrassment creeping up again.

"The problem is, …. I asked Google to send that text. And…… well the text said, 'Hey, do you want to sneak out one of these evenings for tea?"

Still failing to grasp the horror of my predicament, the kids were going to make me explain the whole thing. Out loud!

"Well, here's the deal. Google didn't send that text to Alexis after all. Google sent that text to my friend Alex. Alex is the man who lead my grief support group. We went to his wedding to Sarah a couple of years ago. And…… sigh.... my message is really really awkward. I. Am. So. Embarrassed."

Now my kids are giggling and compassionately feeling my pain.

A hesitant voice, "did he answer you?"

"Yes." I sigh again. And the kids are silent, on the edge of their seats, waiting to hear the details.

"He had a perfect answer. But how stinking awkward. Dang Google!!!"

"What did he say?"

With a slightly wry laugh, "he just texted back, 'was this message meant for me?'"

"And what did you do?" I realize kids are always watching and learning and taking everything in as they try to figure out how the world works and how to pattern their lives. Shaking my head, I reply, "I sent back a text apologizing and explained it was for 'Alexis!' and saying how embarrassed I was."

"I'm sure it's fine, mommy," says my youngest patting my leg.

"I know. I'm sure they got a laugh out of it too. I just try really hard to always be proper and appropriate and never give anyone the wrong idea and this is one of the most embarrassing things I have ever done!"

(Names have been changed to protect the innocent. :) )

Thank you for reading. Your reads and hearts always make my day! Thank you.

If you enjoy my humor and my stories... here are a few more:

The Mysterious Button Another entry to embarrassing moments in my life. This is about a big mistake I made at my first professional job.

How to Pull Over a Police Officer This is a hilarious story about the time my mom pulled over a cop for speeding.

IRON BUNS This story makes me laugh everytime I re read it. I think you will be rolling on the floor too.

Tip: My humor comes off the funniest when read out loud. :)