The Struggles of an INFP

The Myers Briggs personality test I have completed time and time again. Mostly because I was in different phases of my life, but I finally found the personality, which I most fit into and that is INFP. INFP stands for introverted, intuitive, feeling, and prospecting. It makes sense to me and now that I know my personality, I can understand myself better. There are some aspects, which do not resonate with me at all such as "pretending to be someone they aren’t" I have no difficulty becoming someone else to please everyone around me, yes, I do find it exhausting pretending to be someone I am not, yet I have done a lot of that throughout high school and maybe some college years. I do not particularly like drinking, but in college I pretended that I did like to drink, and I pretended to love going clubbing, when in fact the very thought of it made me squeamish, yet I still did all of those things.

"Although they may seem quiet or unassuming, people with the INFP personality type (Mediators) have vibrant, passionate inner lives. Creative and imaginative, they happily lose themselves in daydreams, inventing all sorts of stories and conversations in their mind. INFPs are known for their sensitivity – these personalities can have profound emotional responses to music, art, nature, and the people around them. They are known to be extremely sentimental and nostalgic, often holding onto special keepsakes and memorabilia that brighten their days and fill their heart with joy.

Idealistic and empathetic, people with the INFP personality type long for deep, soulful relationships, and they feel called to help others. Due to the fast-paced and competitive nature of our society, they may sometimes feel lonely or invisible, adrift in a world that doesn’t seem to appreciate the traits that make them unique. Yet it is precisely because INFPs brim with such rich sensitivity and profound creativity that they possess the unique potential to connect deeply and initiate positive change." (https://www.16personalities.com/infp-personality. January 16, 2024. web.)

That is the paragraph that is the introduction to the INFP personality type and looking back I did struggle with school because I was daydreaming about a lot of things, like if Unicorns were real where would they live? or I would create worlds in my mind and imagine what it would be like, or I would imagine trying to be someone else. Math class was for sure a real struggle because it was uninteresting. I create stories in my mind all the time, that's partially why I joined vocal media, so I can create them and share them with people that were willing to listen. I am extremely nostalgic and sentimental. I am keeping my wedding dress and I wear the necklace my now husband gave me when we were dating and I never take it off, not even for my wedding day. I find it hard throwing away birthday cards, because I look back and read them and I remember how it felt that day and I do not like letting go of that feeling.

The relationships in my life that I had always maintained were ones where I have seen the person at their worst and their best in life. I need a deep connection in my life, because if it is just surface level, I will lose interest quickly and eventually that connection I had gets lost. I hate having surface level conversations and I do not particularly like talking about how a person's weekend went unless if the conversation gets deeper.

The other things that I struggle with are I tend be unrealistic, self-isolating, unfocused, emotionally vulnerable, too eager to please and lastly, self-critical.

Unrealistic: all of my daydreaming is extremely unrealistic, but what fun is reality when I can create an entire world where magic exists, i cannot tell you how many times I wished Harry Potter was real or the world of Narnia lived in my closet. I do imagine what my life could be like if I did become a famous writer or an actress or if my affiliate marketing actually took off, but I am led with disappointment because my affiliate marketing is not doing well and with writing I am easily discouraged, which leads me to my next topic of being self-critical.

Being self-critical can be crippling to one's self esteem, I never know if I am doing a good job at work or not until someone tells me. I always assume I am not good at my job, and I have no idea why I do that to myself. It could be my parents had high expectations for me and I never felt like I achieved what they wanted.

Self-Isolating. Yup, I don't really like people all that much and I find that I can entertain myself perfectly fine. I want to have more friendships, but I never know how to go about it without it becoming awkward...I can't find the balance between oversharing and forming a comfortable connection with someone. I find it hard to build connections with people for some reason.

I am unfocused. Ha ha ha this is too relatable because I can barely focus on work and I do daydream and write while working or I even look up things, which I am curious about or I am looking up unrealistic homes that I cannot afford.

Emotionally vulnerable, sure this can be seen as a strength, but sometimes I find it hard to establish boundaries with people, when making jokes on my account I may just laugh it off, but it still hurts me. This becomes a weakness when I absorb other people's behaviour into my own. People complain about work a lot and then I tend to do the same simply because I am surrounded by that, but when other people say "I love my job" I realize that I do too.

Too eager to please, yea, I do tend to want to make everyone happy around me. I do not establish boundaries easily and I just want to please everyone, and I don't think about myself until it is too late. Then, I have dug myself into a hole or in a relationship that does not make me grow or thrive simply because I want to make the other person happy. I've been getting better at saying what I want in more recent years, but I still find it difficult to say "no".

I internalize my feelings too much, it's been getting easier over the years to share my feelings, but it's difficult for me to say things that hurt me out loud. I used to have anxiety attacks and stomach cramps a lot more five years ago. I've learned to adjust and to let out my feelings. It's easier to internalize and pretend that it is not there, when in reality if I share my feelings, I get more solutions than problems.

When it comes to my work habits, I need to feel like I am helping people, hence why I work in health care. I get fulfillment and I love having the job that I have. I get work with people, and I know I am making a difference in their lives, which I can forget sometimes, but then I remind myself I am making people's lives easier. I used to work for an oil company, and I would feel so down about the fact that I did not feel like I was contributing to society in a positive way or that I was helping people and I quit after seven months of it. I love the fact that I am independent at work, and I can get things done my way, the way I enjoy doing it.

I am a very creative type, I write, I paint, I craft a lot, I knit I have tried many hobbies out there because I love being creative, I have taken dance classes that help express myself. I have created some questionable artwork as well. I was involved in improv and other drama clubs and sometimes I would chill in the art room without taking a class. I think my favorite thing to do is still writing.

Let me know which personality type you are? or did you find this relatable? like this article! Subscribe!