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The Oblivious Young Husband

Learning to Love Each Other Because of our Quirks Not In Spite of Them

By Maria CalderoniPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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The Oblivious Young Husband
Photo by Kevin Curtis on Unsplash

“Don’t worry honey,” the older lady at the wedding rehearsal dinner leaned over the table conspiratorially and whispered to me, “he’ll learn tact one day.” First off, she was referring to my husband, the best man at the wedding. And second of all, she was wrong. I don’t think he ever did!

This event, which I am about to reveal, was not the first and it certainly was not the last, but it may have been one of the most horrifying times my young husband inserted his foot into his own mouth much to MY chagrin. In most cases, he failed to see the faux pax and continued on with whatever his current conversation or agenda was, while I tried to mop up, save face or mend fences as the case might be.

Early on in our marriage, in the interest of heading off an embarrassing moment, I initiated the silent signals that many wives use in such situations. I would try looking intently at him with a subtly piercing gaze, usually intended to communicate that he should quickly change the path of conversation he was headed down. When he inevitably missed my helpful cue and kept on charging forward at an alarming speed, I would gently, at first, try nudging his foot under the table. This would eventually get his attention, stopping him sometimes mid-sentence as he would physically turn toward me with a puzzled and hurt expression and say, “why are you kicking me?” So much for subtle! If the military had been seeking a candidate for “Overt Ops,” I would have been willing to write a recommendation for him for the position. He was kind, and gentle and very well intentioned, but covert or subtle were not even in his repertoire.

Anytime throughout our marriage that he planned a surprise gift or event of some sort for me, he would inevitably let slip all the details, sometimes weeks before hand. It didn’t help him at all that I was keenly aware of most goings ons and could have been his counterbalance as a Covert Operator.

There was no time more obvious than when we would first discover a new baby was expected. I am a more private, introspective individual and would have preferred waiting at least a short time to share the exciting news. Not my husband. I think we did keep a new baby a secret for a couple of days one time but inevitably he would burst with the announcement looking sheepishly at me and shrugging as if to say, “It is just so exciting, how can I keep this to myself?”

Back to the evening at hand. After finishing rehearsing all the intricacies of the ceremony planned for the following day, the wedding party and their partners all headed to the banquet room of one of our favorite local college hangouts, “Brother’s Restaurant.” I was seated next to the best man, my husband, and across the table from a somewhat older relative of the groom, if I recall correctly. We were in our early 20s and anyone over 35 fell into the category of “older.” To be more precise, I expect she was in her 50s, maybe 60s. She was pleasant and poised and delightful, and a skilled conversationalist. She reminded me of someone who might host a proper English tea. As the meal progressed and conversation continued, she politely quizzed my husband on his line of work. This was one of his most passionate subjects as he was a radio enthusiast and loved music. He worked in the radio industry with the dream of becoming a well renowned program director. His position at the time was as a DJ. He eagerly shared more details than necessary and when she asked what kind of music he played, he responded immediately, “I work at an oldies station.”

She replied pleasantly, “Oh, so you play the kind of music I listen to.” It was a statement.

He paused momentarily, certainly not long enough for me to even imagine the reply about to erupt. I had zero warning as he smiled enthusiastically, “On no, ma’am, not that old.” I almost choked, as he continued, “We only play music from the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.”

I couldn’t even disguise my horror and embarrassment, which was when this lovely lady leaned over the table and patted my hand. “Don’t worry dear,” she smiled kindly, “he will learn tact one day.” He continued the meal oblivious to any sort of error on his part and as the years passed, I learned to love him not in spite of these embarrassing situations but because of them.

Now that he is gone, we often sit and recall his endearing quirks and laugh affectionately remembering many times how we were confused or embarrassed and he didn’t seem to have a clue.

Thank you for reading. It brings me great joy to share my stories with you. Your enjoyment is my greatest joy. Hearts and tips are fun too.

If you enjoy my humorous tales here are several more you are welcome to giggle at with me.

The Mysterious Button --An embarrassing story about a mistake I made at my first professional job that was both hilarious and terrifying.

Iron Buns --One of my children's biggest insults and who he called this horrifying name.

How to Pull Over a Police Officer --About when I was a student driver and my mother pulled over a cop for speeding.

I also write fun memories from my childhood like the time we lived by selling pennies, and the time I hitchhiked at 7 years old.

Family
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About the Creator

Maria Calderoni

Born a lover of stories. I love to read, write and tell them. Tales of inspiration, resilience and struggle.

A life long learner, I enjoy nothing more than sharing interesting and useful things I have learned so far.

Please join me.

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