The Beast and The Beauty

Moving to Tucson, AZ was not really something I wanted to do. The year was 1999. Concerns about the effect of Y2K, the year 2000 when there was a scare that things run by computers would not make the transition from years that began with 19 or less without major problems, were looming. For example, it was thought that computers would mistake '01 for 1901 instead of 2001. It was the year I would have to move back in with my estranged, abusive husband, and I had heard that Arizona was a beast of a place. An extremely hot, dry, rough state, and not a place that embraced Black people. Sigh. Decisions, decisions. On the upside, it was an opportunity to increase my salary by going from being a secretary (something I was good at), to being an engineer (something I always wanted to be). This opportunity would supply the means to become independent of my soon-to-be ex-spouse without having to struggle so much being a single parent of three young daughters. So, I took a deep breath and made the plunge to move myself and my daughters to Tucson, AZ. Yikes!

Soon after I moved, my brother, a Michigan state police officer, was killed in the line of duty. I cried for three months. I had to start my new engineering job that next week, so I could not attend his funeral. It was a source of great sorrow. Coupled with moving to a new area, having to get my daughters settled into new schools, and living momentarily with a man who was mentally/emotionally unsupportive to say the least, made the beast seem that much larger.

Getting used to the quirks and idiosyncrasies of this new life is moving along more smoothly as time ticks by. The girls are getting used to their new lives as well. While I have started divorce proceedings (another roar from the beast) and am getting up to speed on my new job, I need to be scheduled for a hysterectomy. I am not going to get into the grand details of why I must have this surgery in such an immediate time frame. Just know that I am quite sick. My surgery is moved from the middle of January 2000 to the end of December 1999. My girlfriend came from California to Arizona to take care of the girls while I was in the hospital because I had separated from my husband and had not yet formed the types of relationships here that would give me the type of support that I needed. After surgery and a recovery of six weeks we get back on our regular schedules.

We progress with life. We make new friends and start to get more acquainted with Arizona. We discover that all native life here has something prickly. The plants, the animals, even the bugs. We were learning a new language. Rain here is called a monsoon. The roads flood in the monsoon because there are no drains along the road. If you see water rushing across the road you should not drive through it, because you could wash away. If you do drive through it and become stranded and need to be rescued, the stupid motorist law kicks in and you will be charged for your rescue. Dry gullies are called washes. Blowing dust is called dust devils. Another new discovery is that you should never allow yourself to get thirsty. You need to drink more water than you ever thought possible, and then drink some more. Also, in the summer here 90 degrees Fahrenheit is considered “cooler”, and cold starts at about 70 degrees. Snow is something to be stared at while you are driving instead of watching the road. Ice on the road is the devil. All of this is just some of the weather. The animals (coyotes, javelinas, rattle snakes, and bobcats to name a few) should be looked at, steered clear of, and avoided if possible. Now let us talk about the bugs (insects). There are scorpions (ouch!), tarantulas (scary), centipedes that pinch, and termites that will devour your house. Apply the same rules to these creatures that you have applied to the animals. These are all things you need to learn, and understand, and then put that knowledge into practice if you are to have any semblance of a normal, safe life here. So far, the beast is still in charge, though I am quickly learning how to keep it under better control.

As we are learning to manage the beastly nature of Arizona with all its harshness and total difference from the world from which we came, it seems that we are now more cooperating with the creature than determining to tame it. With this happening we start to notice the joy of the ride rather than the bumps in the road. The scenery is starting to come into view around us. Instead of bemoaning the monsoons, animals, and bugs, awe begins to replace drudgery. Little by little the beauty of sunrises, sunsets, night skies, the crispness and cleanness of the air after a monsoon, the pattern of roaming coyotes singing at night, and the habits of tarantulas become what is noticed. The ride is becoming an adventurous journey rather than a chore to be endured. While transformation is taking place, the key to unlocking the true and lasting beauty has yet to be discovered.

One day at work I noticed a very handsome man that I would like to meet and at least become acquainted with. I found out that he was my IT support contact. From then on, my computer “broke” a lot more than usual. I knew how to fix most of the problems that arose with my computer, but as an engineer, I was not supposed to remedy them. I was supposed to call them into the help desk and let my IT support contact tackle them. I started complying with the rules and began to have conversations with this lovely man. He became my friend. Little did I know that I had found the elusive key to unlocking the true and lasting beauty of this wild place called Arizona – Tucson to be more precise.