That's how you, BE YOURSELF!

3 Stories | Similar Endings | I'll do talking | You Imagine | Will you get the Point? | Let's see...

---

1. A New Morning:

Ron was standing on the cold winter night. I suggested not to go. But he dismissed me and flew. He was so excited to see his darling after a big break.

My best friend(Ron) and his girlfriend(Peach) fought over silly reasons. She complains about his personality not suit her needs. Well, he used to buy her favourite flowers and chocolates on her periods. He was a regular nice guy. I don't know what else was she expecting from him.

Couples fight all the time, but this was Jumanji level unusual. He was rough in bed. She went wild in the living room and sometimes bathroom, ughh. Ron and I were roommates. A Goodnight sleep, thin walls and sex noises don't work together, and the sunrise fights won't let me sleep in the morning.

Now, I wanted to break up with her. I think her real name wasn't Peach - it was B!*#h.

Three weeks later, she left the apartment. I was dancing on the moon. My Mr. nice guy got insecure and started missing her. I wished if he wouldn't cry. At least not in my presence. If a girl cries - You can hug her, tell her, "It's gonna be alright," maybe squeeze her butt if she's into that. I don't know what to do when a guy flows a river. It gets a little weird for me.

He was thinking about getting back. I got in touch with b… I mean Peach. She wanted him back too. I was intensely perspiring.

I set a date for them at a bar. Ron was standing outside, waiting for her in the snow. She didn't show up. He was smashed and heartbroken and decided to never talk to her.

Guess who gave the wrong address to the girl. 😈

Moral: Don't mess with my sleep.

2. It's my Closet:

"Who left the lights on," I asked Nora(ex-gf.) It was 2 am on a Tuesday. I had work in the morning. The living room lights were on. I woke her up and asked. She had no idea. It was a little scary. I went out and saw a square-shaped box attached to the wall. I scratched my eyes - it was just the switch. I shut it off and went to sleep. We forgot about it in the morning.

In the night - She wore sexy lingerie, and we went sound asleep. I'm not giving you the details. Moving on…

The next night, the same thing happened with bathroom lights. We were getting suspicious of the apartment. Nora was not prepared to see a ghost. Well, neither was I. My 5'2 Ft. cutie almost peed her pants when I asked her to switch off the lights.

We were sipping coffee with some snacks in the evening. Suddenly, the lights went off. Someone rang the bell. Out of habit, Nora wiped her hands with my hoodie that she wore and went to check. But she didn't sense anybody outside.

"I hear someone banging from inside the closet," she screamed. Nora was fearful to look inside it. I didn't hear any noise but still checked for her sanity. I found my clothes, cologne, and confidence but no ghost.

The lights came back but left my girlfriend paranoid for a while. I mean, it was insane. She wouldn't wear my sweatshirts anymore. "I think it's your clothes that ghost or whatever it is, likes," She said.

Moral: Don't trash my hoodies. 😈

To pull this off, Mrs. Palmerston (My lovely neighbour) was a real help.

3. Fire-pipe is cancelled:

"Someone transferred a million dollars in my account!" Nick exclaimed. Nick(friend) worked at a local cafe as a line cook. He wasted his life smoking cigarettes. I don't think if he had even $10K saved.

We called Rani(bank manager) to confirm the news. Those six zeroes were poking my eyes. At that moment, we didn't know whose money it was. Nick got rich overnight.

He bought customized, luxury supercars like a rich kid from the middle east. He blew all the money within two months.

The very next day, another million dollars were deposited. Rani started flirting with Nick - I don't need to tell you why. I knew her intentions and asked my friend to stop seeing her. I guess my friend was thinking with his penis, which didn't have ears to listen to me. Plus, she was extremely hot. The hotness she carried would melt the gold she dug.

They were dating but not having sex for some reason. Mr. Beta guy gifted his cars and bought a house in her name. He blew all the money, again!

We were waiting for the third round to receive more cookies. We didn't see even crumbs. Nick was out of all the cash and his savings. Rani didn't want to date him anymore. She ran off with all the money.

Enter the crooked teeth and face tattoo, guy. Nick received a call from this man who mistakenly transferred him $2 million and wanted it back. Nick was panting out of fear and started sucking his fire-pipe even more.

The tattoo guy luckily had a brother who recently died because of smoking. Nick resembled his brother. With a gun on his head, Nick quit smoking right there, and the money was forgiven.

It's been 5 years; he hasn't touched cigarettes. I'm proud.

Moral: Smoking kills. 😈

I hired a weird-looking guy to fake-threaten him. Rani was never a bank manager. In fact, she was a friend of my girlfriends'. And yes, she was a millionaire.

It ain't always about me, guys. I care about my friends and want to see them succeed.

Please don't tell Ron, Nora or Nick about this. They'd kill me.

---

For more stories, stay tuned!