Tea and Brownies

Refreshments, Madam? Sir? Children? Those of you in between? Everyone needs a good snack, right? What better snack is there than one accompanied by entertainment? My name will forever remain infamous within with my family. Though I would love to say I am embarrassed about some of the past events that occurred, I must say that to me they are now quite old. For fresher ears, however, these short moments are likely funny. So, grab a snack and have some laughs at my expense.

My family used to gather together at my grandmother and grandfather's home every Sunday. My grandmother and grandfather had five children, each of which had a minimum of two children themselves. You never knew how many people would be in the same location at a given time. My grandmother always made sure she had sweet tea on Sundays, and I had been her helper for years. The woman practically raised me. While I watched her cook and assisted many times, I hadn't paid much attention to the tea. One Sunday, the tea became my task. I boiled the water, tore the pouch of tea open, and dumped it in. I waited ten minutes and realized the tea wasn't steeping the right color, and the particles were still floating. It was then that my mother saw from across the room, and shouted in front of our entire extended family, "Oh my gosh, Erica! Look at what Erica did everyone! She doesn't know how to make tea! Such a blonde! Who opens the teabag?! No wonder it isn't steeping, and is taking so long!" To this day, my mother still loves to tell the story. At the time, I did feel embarrassed. Thankfully my grandmother showed me where the teabags were when she heard, and told me how to make a new batch. I guess not all teas are instant, especially if they come in bags.

Another family favorite, is what I refer to as the "brownie incident." My family lived right across the road from my grandma's house, and truthfully I spent more time at hers than our own. She was always cooking and baking things. If she had goodies that were a couple days old, she would always try to send me off with them; like in the case of this particular brownie. "You'll have to warm it for a minute or else it might be a little dry" she said. She had apparently forgotten how literal my young mind worked when she made that statement. I scrambled across the road, anxious to heat up the brownie in the microwave just like she said. I placed it on a napkin, set the timer for a full minute, and hit the start button. The napkin and brownie caught on fire! Thankfully my father was home. He grabbed some oven mitts, and slung the brownie out into the yard then proceeded to stomp it. The inevitable question followed, "How long did you have it in there for?" Like every child would, I shrugged and said, "Grandma told me to put it in there for a minute." He surprisingly questioned my grandmother about it. She scolded me and said, "I didn't think you'd actually put it in for a minute. I thought you'd put it in there for maybe 30 seconds." "You said a minute" I protested. "I didn't expect you to take me literally!" she responded. Now everyone on all sides of the family knows the story, and thinks very carefully before they give me directions.

I'm not sure how many people are familiar with 4-H or 4-H camp, but that is where this story takes place. Several students in my high school, my brother's middle school, and even other counties all went. On the last day of camp, even their families would gather to watch the various "best of the best" performances and jokes from each of the four tribes we were divided into. For someone in a small rural location, this was a fairly large gathering of people. Nothing was off limits for making jokes about, and everything was fair game as long as people were good sports. Earlier in the camp week, I was given a role to play, the role of an EMS person tasked with saving someone's life. I practiced my CPR on an invisible person before yelling, "They're fading fast! Quick! Somebody bring me the Jaws of Life!" That statement would be repeatedly made fun of throughout the week, and especially on family night. If you're wondering, yes, I thought an AED Defibrillator was called the "Jaws of Life." I did not realize they were actually tools to cut people trapped in their vehicles free, but it wasn't long before I realized my error. Everyone was talking about it, and I had to wear that comment as a medal of "honor" the entire week. When family night happened, my mother, a nurse, would never let me hear the end of it. What happened during that week was nothing compared to the harassment and shame she would spread to everyone she knew, including the rest of our family. I will forever be known as that kid who shouted, "Bring me the Jaws of Life!"

In summary, I hope you find these tales entertaining. If it made you grab a snack or think of your own embarrassing stories, even better. Please remember not to open your teabags. Reheating your brownies for a full minute in the microwave is also not advisable, especially not on a paper towel. If you didn't know the difference between a defibrillator and the "Jaws of Life" EMS tools before now and instead just repeated things you heard on a soap opera, at least you know now! Many of us have always joked that the world's population problem could be solved by simply removing warning labels. However, some of us are also the reasons for said warning labels. Sit back, have a good laugh about it, and enjoy your tea and brownies.