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So You Thought This Was My OnlyFans


By Steven Christopher McKnightPublished about a month ago 3 min read
So You Thought This Was My OnlyFans
Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

So! You clicked on this link thinking it was my OnlyFans. For those of you who don’t know, I have my Linktree in my Instagram bio, and on my Instagram story with the same caption. The button linked to this page reads “Spicy Content” with an array of sweaty, eggplant, and fire emojis. The ultimate goal? To get people to click on the Spicy Content. Which you did. Good job, you. Your curiosity got the better of you, and you have effectively netted me a halfpenny through Vocal, which is significantly more than I’d make through an OnlyFans anyway.

Don’t get me wrong here. Do I think that OnlyFans is real work? Of course I do. I have friends who “sell their bodies” on OnlyFans just as I have friends who sell their bodies working as manufacturers, theatermakers, administrative assistants, caretakers, et cetera. It’s a living. Is it a living I wish I could have? Sometimes, kinda. It’s about the hustle, I understand, but so is the creative’s life. If I could make a living out of documenting my body, putting photographic and videographic materials in neat little folders, coming up with upload schedules and promotional campaigns, interacting with clients, I think a part of me would be keen on doing that. I think I’m only hampered by the set of socio-cultural norms that I grew up in, and my general lack of attractiveness. Don’t get me wrong, I know I have other talents, but esoteric bird fiction doesn’t get hot-and-bothered strangers on the internet to send me $500, just to expose my beautiful mind. Ya feel me?

But all that is beside the point. My point is, you—or at least some subsection of you—clicked on this link because you thought it would lead to an OnlyFans account where you could, for lack of a better term, get to know me intimately. Why? Is it curiosity? Did you genuinely want to see if I did it, if trying to make it as a freelance author broke me and I decided to dive into more experimental forms of the hustle? Or was it genuine attraction? Do you have a thing for lanky white guys with long, messy hair and patchy beards? Am I more attractive than I give myself credit for, able to move a portion of the people that follow me into a desire to know, intimately, who Steven Christopher McKnight is, not just in spirit, but in body? Perhaps you’re cringing as you’re reading that sentence, because no part of you ever wants me to talk like that for any reason. But I’m curious. Maybe you just wanted to support me. Maybe you care about me, and want to see where my creative endeavors take me, and are willing to spend a little money for a little bit of skin if that’s what will elevate my career. I don’t know. Do you know?

In any case, if you’re dead set on supporting me, you already have by reading this article. As I said, you’ve netted me a keen halfpenny for your attention, and I’m grateful for that. I also have a Patreon that I never upload to, and if you have been inspired to throw more money at me, you can find the link to it here.

If you want to learn more about my intentions with Vocal Media, read this story here and stay up-to-date on this overarching quest which I am embarking upon.

I apologize for the sabbatical I took; I have been working hard on my Master’s Thesis, and it’s almost finished. With my graduation in a month, I’m looking forward to dedicating myself full-time to elevating my writing career, and supporting the authors on this platform that make that possible. If you have any suggestions, advice, or compliments, please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments.

HumanityWorkplaceTabooEmbarrassmentCONTENT WARNING

About the Creator

Steven Christopher McKnight

Disillusioned twenty-something, future ghost of a drowned hobo, cryptid prowling abandoned operahouses, theatre scholar, prosewright, playwright, aiming to never work again.

Venmo me @MickTheKnight

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Comments (2)

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  • Davina Zinn McKee22 days ago

    ‘With my graduation in a month, I’m looking forward to dedicating myself full-time to elevating my writing career, and supporting the authors on this platform that make that possible.’ Stop. 🤣 This is maximum level trolling.

  • Babs Iversonabout a month ago

    Congratulations on your Thesis and pending graduation!!! Fun read!!!💕❤️❤️

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