Smile like nobody is watching, yeah right

I got a good laugh one Sunday morning when my mother in law said she could not find her teeth. My six year old daughter looked up at her grandmother and replied "Grandma they are in your mouth.” We continue to this day to randomly recall that moment and smile. Things were completely different, however, later on when I had a situation to deal with regarding missing teeth. My mother in law’s dentures were where they were supposed to be but mine were not. I dressed up for church one Sunday morning and put on my makeup and styled my hair as usual.

I brushed my natural teeth, made sure my nails were clean and that my purse was not cluttered. I put on my jewelry, applied cologne and added lip gloss over my lip stick. I got my Bible and purse, put on my hat and looked the part of the traditional church lady. I greeted people as I entered the sanctuary and took my seat. I made it through the first part of the service and sang out loud with the songs along with the choir. Things changed, however just before the offering when I made a startling discovery.

The pastor had told a joke of some sort and everyone was laughing. He then made a statement and said turn to your neighbor and say such and such. I turned to the woman beside me and as I opened my mouth to speak, I realized I had not put my partial plate in my mouth. My dentures replaced 3 top front teeth and I don't know how I had missed them that morning. I don't know where my mind was after I finished brushing my teeth, but now I wanted to hide. I felt as I did one day in elementary school when I realized I had not worn any no underwear. It felt like everybody knew andI had to watch how I was sitting rest of that day.

For the rest of this church service, I sat stoned face and afraid even to give even a small closed mouth smile. I was very self conscious and imagined that everyone who had spoken to me since I left home had noticed that I had missing teeth. I became paranoid and just knew they were talking behind my back and wished I could disappear. I did not sing another song, say amen to the preaching, or read out loud during the responsive reading. Here I was all dressed up, wearing makeup and looking good but I was ashamed to smile because of my missing teeth.

I was more than embarrassed I was absolutely mortified. Just before the benediction I excused myself so I could leave early and not have anyone else look into my face. As I was stepping out of the sanctuary door I heard the pastor say, “ Smile like nobody is watching.Give a great big grin even if you have no teeth.” I do not believe that he noticed my kidding dentures or that the comment was aimed at me. I had glue are other pastors in different churches say the same thing. This was a big coincidence, unless of course God was trying to tell me something, Yeah right!

I can’t speak for anyone else but I will never open wide when I have missing teeth. It’s not a pretty sight and there is something else. The old adage that if you smile the world smiles with you does not apply in this situation. Humans can be petty and I’ve listened as others were berated about the condition of their choppers or lack thereof. I still cannot believe on that Sunday years ago that I had everything in place except my partial plate. I’m certain, however that I was not the first person to endure this mishap snd I certainly will not be the last. Even so, it sure was embarrassing and I probably will never forget.