Shove the food down, not love

I loved receiving princess treatment from Leo. He treated me like I mattered, like I had a place in this wreckage world.

Leo had been my 3rd boyfriend since starting at my new job. Maybe 3 is my lucky number, or well not so lucky for him.

The first sight I saw Leo at my job, it was like the world stopped spinning. Something in my head was drawing my attention to him. I refuse to say it was myself who drew that attention, so I blame my mind for that.

His emerald eyes sparkled like stars in the night sky. I admired his unique perspectives and the poetic way he described even ordinary details, that's why I liked Leo, he seemed really smart. Not like any other guy who could talk so fluently like him.

Leo also gave me a sense of hard working. He definitely came from money, but I had something no trust fund could buy.

Let's just say... I wasn't always faithful when it came to Leo and I's relationship....

I didn't realis he was such a reputable man in this city. It never asserted to me when I figured that jealously was a real problem with Leo.

Getting to know Leo, he gives you a wide example of things of what you can and can do. Standards let's say.

It made me feel insecure about myself... I felt like I wasn't good enough for him.

So, what any other delusional girl would do... She changes herself.

However, he would still call me babe with the finest intentions.

"Lets go eat, Babe." Leo puts his hand out gesturing me to walk through first.

"Oo Italian!!"

See! What human wouldn't want their boyfriend to take them out to Italian?

"How is your food, gorgeous?"

"Mm, it's delicious! You can't really go wrong with Italian." - I say.

I weirdly place my knife and folk down.

"Your not hungry anymore, babe?"

"No, I'm full now."

He captures the waiter's attention. "Hey, could you please give us some takeaway boxes for all this food!"

She nods.

"While that, I'm going to go use the loo."

"Alrighty."

Leo gets up to leave for the restroom....

Confession moment.

As I watch Leo walk away.... I grab all the garlic bread from the table and stuff it all in my mouth, shoving it all down my throat with a cold diet coke in hand. Leaving enough room to shove down all the pizza I've rolled up.

It finally feels good to eat.

Should it be like that though? Should it be FINALLY good to eat?

I shove more food down.

More, more.

And more~

I look like a pig, but he doesn't need to know.

If Leo found out about this, he would leave me without a doubt.

Why do I do this to myself...

The waiter comes back with boxes. "Oh."

I swallow the rest of the dry pizza, finishing all the food. "You can take the boxes back."

While the waiter walks away, I push over my glass of coke all over the table. Purposely spilling to cover up the secret I hide.

"What happened here?"

"Ugh! Waiter spilled my drink all over our food!" - I put my hands on my head, as if I was actually annoyed....

"Don't worry Darling, you don't need to eat a lot anyways, Keep your body like that!"

...

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Oh, the things I did for men.

The things I did for love~

I felt like a puppet,

I feel like I was easily controlled, under my own will.

Its two things...

Either,

I always attract the wrong type of men...

Or,

I'm always the problem~

~~~

Authors Notes:

❣️Thank you so much for reading my confession/story!❣️