Should I run away with my boyfriend and get pregnant?

I buy The Star just to read your column daily. I have always wanted to write to you. I am going to be 19 early next year and my boyfriend is 24. He wants me to have his first child. I also want a baby but I don't want to get pregnant in my parents' house. He got a house through National Housing Trust recently but he has not moved in as yet. He has always wanted me to live with him and he said when he gets his new house we would move in together. His parents are overseas and he lives with his younger sisters. He also wants to meet my mother but I am afraid because I have never introduced any of my past boyfriends to her so I told him soon. I really love my boyfriend. He treats me extremely well and he has two jobs. Pastor, should I move in with him and have our child or should we go out of the country to a small island as we planned and have the baby and come back and then tell my mother after? Please give me your advice.

Advice Time

I cannot encourage you to have a child out of wedlock, neither can I encourage you to move in with this man. You are 19 and you do not have to be in any hurry to become a wife or a mother. You haven't said anything about your education. I would have loved to hear what plans you have to further your education. I do not doubt that you love your boyfriend but it is wrong for him to be pushing you to have his baby or to live with him. And this scheme that both of you have talked about is nonsense. You should not agree to go to go to another island and have a child. You should never try to deceive your parents and this young man should not encourage you to do so. And you must bear in mind that although you love your boyfriend, circumstances may change and he might walk away from you. There is no guarantee that he would be with you forever, so you should stay right at home with your parents and give yourself some more time to mature. If this man wants to move you into his new house he should first marry you. Introduce him to your parents and tell your mother that he wants you to live with him and to have his baby. I am sure that she would discourage you from doing so right now. Please let me hear from you again.

Bonus Story Jamaican Confession

you said I could spill the beans about someone, so that's exactly what I'm going to do. Me waa tell you wah mi pastor really a deal wid inna church and a gwaan like him a saint.

From me a likkle girl, me a go church and know this pastor man. In fact, me know him very well because him marry Joycie*, who is my cousin. Him have four pickney with Joycie and they just celebrated 25 years of marriage and do renewal of vows.

I always respected this man, even though me hear nuff church people a bash him, but me lose respect fi him when me see him with mi own two eyes a cheat pon him wife with mi other cousin, Keisha*, the same week him renew vows!

People in the community used to say that him and Keisha were long-time sweethearts, but Keisha did find man and run weh leave him, so that's why him marry the other cousin, Joycie.

One late night, I was coming from a nine night and me take a likkle shortcut, only fi see two people hitch up inna one dark corner a gwaan wid a bag a things. Me think a one a di young bwoy and giddy-head gyal from the community, but the voice dem did sound so familiar.

When me draw likkle nearer, nuh Pastor and Keisha and kiss up and feel up! Me couldn't believe mi eyes! Imagine these two big ole church people outa road a gwaan so. I was sooo shocked, disgusted and upset, all at once!

Mi just turn back and walk the longer way and do like me no see dem. Now everytime him get up fi a preach inna church, mi stomach sick.