Self Care, or Depression?

Rest, and relaxation. Time off from the busy work and life schedules. How can you tell if it's burnout or if you're simply depressed? It depends. When time off happens, the first thing people like to do (myself included) is sleep in. Often times, it doesn't happen for many of us, whether it's internal clocks, children, or animals keeping us from our precious sleep. I know the bed always feels the most comfortable right before you have to get out of it.

My husband and I moved across country four months ago, on a whim. But not really. We were both suffering from burnout and depression, and needed a change that the sweltering heat of Arizona couldn't give us. So we moved to Wyoming, and I got a new job. On my days off, I enjoy laying in bed in the mornings, especially since it has been snowing outside. All I need is a hot cup of tea and my tablet so I can relax. My children often hinder this, but I can get away with sitting on the couch writing while they watch TV.

One of the bigggest differences I've noticed between living in Arizona and living in Wyoming is the amount of stress. Even though I have a full time job, multiple young children, a half-million dollar house to keep clean, and am going to school full time to pursue my doctorate, I am less stressed here than I was in Arizona. In Arizona I wasn't working, I had finished my master's degree, and it was often too hot out to play with the children. Up here, I feel like I can breathe. Most of all, I'm sleeping better.

However, some days I want to just lay in bed and do nothing. Not even watch TV, because I don't have the energy to work the remote. This is depression. When I have no want or desire to do anything but lay in bed, I have to force myself to be productive. Read a book. Write on my tablet. Shop Amazon. This behavior is okay for a day or two. But longer than that means I need to seek help. Currently, I'm still struggling with wanting to go to bed directly after the kids do, even though I want to stay up and do things. Half the time I just don't have the energy, and that's depression.

Burnout was me before we moved north. After moving, I actually had a breakdown because I felt like I wasn't doing enough, yet I had to do everything. I had to learn how to delegate to my husband and depend on him to take care of the things I had done for years. Ferry the kids to and from school and appointments. Clean the house. Do the grocery shopping and the laundry.

Communication here works wonders. My husband and I role reversed when we moved, so we spoke a lot on the highs and lows of each perspective. We gained a fresh understanding of the other's trials and tribulations, as well as ways to cope with the obstacles. Yes, I work all day, but I still contribute to the household by doing laundry on the weekends and paying the bills. I sleep better when communication occurs effectively, even if it's irritable or naggy communication. When I don't want to do my hobbies, my husband knows to push me if it's been more than a day or two.

Rest isn't just about sleep, and sleep isn't just about your body's need to heal. It's more than that. While the average person needs 8-12 hours of sleep every night, it is important that your emotional and mental states rest as well. This overall helps the body to become better and more relaxed. And if worse comes to worst, then I go outside and take a walk.

Being in nature releases endorphins, which increase mood. This is why I try to walk 2-4 miles per day. Granted, most of that I get at work, but I walk my dog in the evenings as well, and being in nature automatically makes my mood better. I sleep better; I wake up rested. Slowly, I am learning how to relax, even at work. The point here is to rest as much as needed, and to do what rejuvenates you. Don't let burnout drag you down. This year, I'll be taking a lot of downtime to finish my novels. I'd like to publish at the end of next year, so I write a little each day towards my goal.