Please listen

Can’t you hear that ? "My wise mother breathed , her words almost inaudible , gentle sounds blending with the slight night breeze.

Now what the heck am I supposed to hear ? , I was starting to get frustrated. I hated been asked to do something but felt silly like some one who doesn’t get a joke in a crowded room.

I tilted my head to the side and I could hear a deep Impatient grumble rolling around inside my chest. I held my breath and closed my eyes .

"Ahh , "she sighed , "what a beautiful song , its so delicate and fragile . Secretive and hesitant. “, she said in awe and reverence.

I started to hear a thumping heart beat inside my head , I felt light headed , and then realized I was still holding my breath . I tried not to pout , is this some ruse , a way to make me believe I am going deaf , or I don’t have the control to quieten by rabid hyperactive brain . Now I really felt like an imposter , a person who cant sit still and focus. Was I broken ?

“Listen “, she said … the word trailed out and fused and blended with the quiet night sounds.

“Close your eyes and feel the sounds with your heart.”

I almost said aloud " stupid hippie kuk , listen to what ? sound of me getting older , my old duck is probably picking up some radio station with her fillings . Good gracious me , hope I don’t go bat shit like this when I get older.” I was blasphemous and been inwardly rude. My eyes clenched together and I hoped I wasn’t grinning.

I listened. And inwardly resigned to just play along with my crazy old lady ,just agree with everything , nod and it will all be over soon.

I listened…

Then I heard the sound of the heavy night time air been displaced. A whistling tune.

That must be it , my brain congratulated itself for not being completely useless.

“THWACK”… it had to be the sound of thunder , a hand imprinted itself on my ear , and before any pain or ringing sound s assaulted my fiery hot ear.

" You never listen. Do I still have to smack you around the head to get you to listen ?”, barked my own mother who had just sucker slapped the side of head. I think she drew blood , ohh I am going to need counseling , I am getting abused I wined.

“And don’t think I never heard that potty mind of your vomiting up rude remarks about me been bat shit crazy.”, her words shot like thorny missiles into my swollen throbbing ear.

Well I at least know my ear drum is still intact. Small mercies

My mother paused and glared at me, her sea green eyes shimmered and glistened as if they glowed with a spooky inner nuclear fusion.

I held myself for another assault, ohh the indignity I cried inwardly , embracing the role of the victim and dramatically simpering reveling in such hurt ,really using my skills as an actor to go limp and boneless , my body language taking on the Oscar winning wet blanket posture with the beaten cowering look to boot.

I could hear my blood pumping in my swollen ear . It wasn’t that sore but I am going to milk this indignant brutality. Did I actually call her an old cow out loud , no… I would never tempt fate like that… but how did she.?

My mother burst out laughing. Her glowing cat like green eyes cooled down to a calm deep sea green. She squinted her eyes , and leaned forward and hugged me.

She held me in her grasp and whispered in my ear. " Listen , if you ever call me a crazy old hippie or and old goat again , I will smack you so silly you will hear those thoughts bounce around inside your scull.”

I tried to protest , and attempted to pull away and I had my hurt and pained expression ready for such scary accurate accusations. Supernatural accusations , she was a mind reader

"Don’t… "She said , “you can’t hide anything from me young man. I am your mother.”

She held her arms out and looked at me and said "and your acting skills need some work "

Funny , that’s one time I have never forgotten , I listened , and I heard what I needed to that day.

40 plus years and I finally listened