Pills

There are too many to count these days...

They come in various shapes and sizes. And trip away the mind. WARNING. Do not take unless necessary. Or you may end up in tatters.

Then what will you do? It will send you into a twisted spiral of various degrees. Sometimes you will have to divide your time with a multitude of indignities. Yes I am using big words here, and I am not sure what they mean sometimes. But that is alright.

Maybe my family will miss the good times. But they will always love me for who I am. And then it will all be good to go. I am surrounded by love and some sort of respect for the actions and deeds that I do. They will never understand my struggles as much as I do not. I do not want to go through this life, not working for the best in my life. And the many pills I take are not the answer for my strife.

Nobody listens to me anyways. Not even myself. I need a crash course in the escape that I create. Sometimes this is it's only journey. A journey that is parallel to its own insanity, that comes with it's own sacrifice. The music only drowns out the pain. It does not drown out the misery of a life spent in sorrow. But I will rise through all of this in my new three bedroom, one bath, power-house?

Swallow them down with a glass of liquid poison, that we call alcohol, but is that what it really is. I have not written about this struggle for a long time. It only sends chills down my spine, every time that I think about it. Halfway through the rest of this story of life, adios.

Sleeping through it. With not enough energy to last through the next day. I will sleep when needed and only then. It will give me a panic that I do not want to remember. That is the only paradox that I need. It will break everyone's heart to listen to this paramount introduction to something that will not ever be repeated.

Now I am getting high with the pleasure that comes with the things that I swallow down. Later than normal, but still there. Blah blah blah. One more mountain to climb before I go back to sleep. One more mountain to climb when I wake up in a cloud-filled morning. A morning that I will never forget.

I won't be able to sleep for days if I keep this up. I will be cranky, delirious, and very angry. That is what happens when you mix pills, sleep deprivation, and alcohol, and street drugs. It is not a good combination. I was lucky enough to stay on a low keel with the law. And stay out of jail or prison, doing the stupid stuff that I ended up doing. It was a dark and twisted tale.

A punch drunk kind of tale, that not everyone needs to listen to or read. Unless they want to find out the nitty gritty of life on the run. An errand that is hard to find in the first place. Sometimes we all want to escape through the shadow of a doubt. To capitalize on a tragedy of near complication.

Kids, do not try this at home, and adults, do not try this at school or church. I have tried my whole life to be sane and none of it mattered until i found the love of my life the second time over. Bye.