Not So "Lucky"

We've all had one of those totally awkward and embarrassing moments that just made us want to stick out head in the dirt. Come to think of it, I really envy ostriches for having the ability to do that.

I was 28, living with my dog Lucky, and single. I didn't have laundry facilities at my apartment building, so I would take my laundry to my parent’s house.

One day, I took my clean clothes out of my car to bring them to my apartment, but unbeknownst to me, a pair of my underwear fell out of the basket and onto the backseat. After this, I drove to pick up my mother and we went shopping.

I stopped at my place to check on Lucky, and my mother informed me that she saw my panties on the backseat and put them in the glove compartment. Blushing furiously, I took them out and stuck them in my purse.

That was pretty embarrassing, but wait, it gets worse. My actions set off a chain of events that resulted in the most humiliating day of my life.

I dropped mom off and then picked Lucky up to go to the dog park. Lucky only liked to play with me, so I took a ball out of my bag, set my purse on the ground, and played fetch in the big field at the end of the park.

Now, this dog park is fenced in, and about the size of a football field, and that day it was busy. Probably 20 dogs with their owners and some children. The “humans” were lined up in a row, against the fencing, sipping coffee, smoking, and chatting.

Since I only focus on Lucky, I didn't know anyone else, so what happened next was a complete nightmare.

Lucky was growling a bit, and looking behind me, so I figured another dog had come to play, but when I turned around, I was greeted by the sight of a Dachshund rooting through my purse.

He grabbed my underwear and tore around the dog park. I chased him and asked his owner to help me but he laughed and said he wanted to see what happens. (he's laughing hysterically)

At one point, a Husky and the Dachshund were fighting over my panties in front of 20 people. The “humans” were laughing, cheering and clapping.

Lucky, being the friend that he is, decided to join in. Now the Husky is running rampant with my unmentionables while being chased by 2 other dogs and me! The sound of laughter was roaring through my ears. Finally I just stopped and admitted defeat.

After what felt like 3 hours, but was probably only a couple of minutes, the dogs dropped them, and Lucky brought them over to me. I threw my head up high, walking like the Queen when she’s on her way to deliver her annual Christmas message, and threw my underwear in the garbage, smiling like an idiot the entire time. What else could I do?

Since I lived in the basement of my apartment building, I rarely crossed paths with a neighbor, but when I got home on this day, I did. I made supper and took Lucky out to wee and a young woman was outside in a police uniform with her dog. I noticed her looking at me so I spoke to her.

“What happened to you today… that was terrible.” She said quietly, in a thick Northern accent. I looked at her in total disbelief, we began talking. She was at the dog park when the “panty incident” happened! We spent the entire afternoon chatting. After that day, we became friends, having wine, and talking about our dating life.

So there was a silver lining. I met a friend who later became my BFF.

This moment lives on as the most embarrassing moment of my entire life. But it makes a great party story. Although it was years before I could “look back on it and laugh” and I have never taken Lucky back to the dog park.

Whenever I tell my embarrassing story, people say, “Why didn’t you pretend they weren't yours?”

This deflection never occurred to me and I realized, sometimes, I’m just too damn honest.