My life seemed like a fairytale when we first met, you were everything I wanted and more. But some storylines don’t have a happy ending… some stories are not happy at all. Some people come into our lives temporarily to give us what we may need at that very moment.
My life was ordinary and simple; work, school, family, friends… nothing special. I felt like there was something missing, a void in my heart… I guess I wasn’t used to be single, I always had someone that wanted to be with me or found myself going back to someone (not my healthiest of habits). Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, they mean the world to me, but of course as any individual, we always want more. I was in a vulnerable place when I found the thing that filled the emptiness… it was you. You came at a moment that I needed you the most, I wasn’t expecting to meet such a great human being, I had lost the most important thing to me, and you helped to make things better. Your warmth, kindness, generosity, compassion, gentleness and charisma. You had insecurities as well as I did, but we gave each other the confidence that we both needed. You were the peace to my madness… the calm to my chaos… the light to my darkness. Within a month of knowing each other, you knew that you wanted to spend your life with me, although I gave you many reasons to run the other direction. You stayed. You became my constant, you helped to put down my walls, face my fears and walk the earth without a care in the world. It was a magical time between two lovers, but I didn’t expect the hurt you brought that came in like a tsunami, wiping every inch of my happiness away… you abandoned me.
I’ve been through a lot of heartache in my life, too much if you ask me. But I continued to be the hopeless romantic that believed that one day, my knight in shining armor would come and rescue me. Being told these fairytales as a child where the princess found her prince, and lived happily ever after; reality is not at all like this. My “knight in shining armor” was nothing but a ordinary man in normal clothes and as hopeless as myself. There were many things I appreciated about him, he provided a sense of balance in my life, or so it seemed. I won’t sit here and say that our life was all that bad, he did rescue me and helped me to escape my painful present, he did comfort me when I needed it, and tried his best to heal my wounds. But the damage that was done was far too severe to repair, the responsibility of taking care of someone who was broken was too much, and it wasn’t a task for the faint of heart. His efforts didn’t go unnoticed; I just wasn’t mentally and emotionally prepared to welcome someone like him into my world. My mind was skeptical of your intentions, and my heart was recovering from so much hurt. I didn’t know how to take care of you. I didn’t know how to embrace you. I should’ve allowed myself some time to heal and not drag someone into the mud that was my devastation.
I write this story to share the feelings I had for you, not to shine you in a negative light, more so to remind myself to self-heal and thank you for being the best version of yourself for me. I love you, will always love you, and will continue to love you for all that you did for me.
Thank you my enternal love,