My Untold Truth

It was Maya Angelou who said, "there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." Sometimes your best story is the one you chose to keep hidden under the covers of life. My most embarrassing moments in life came with me learning something from the experience that would help me down the road. So maybe what I share will do the same for someone who reads it. This challenge for me will be like no other as I come into a place of liberation that I didn't know I was still attainable by sharing my truth! Let's get started!

I was 13-years-old when I learned a valuable lesson about pride and that no matter how hard it may be, I should never be afraid to ask for help when I know I desperately need it. It was a Friday night during the early part of November when this moment happened. My parents had taken me and my younger siblings to the local carnival in my hometown. I was wearing blue jean overalls with a white top underneath and I really thought I was cute that night.

I don't know if it was something I ate or if it was something in the air but after a couple of hours at the carnival, I felt my stomach start doing flips. I eventually felt like I needed to use the bathroom so I asked my parents where to go and that was when they walked me over to this secluded area in the park with several portable toilets. I will never forget how bad it smelled as we walked up to them and I couldn't go through with it so I told my parents I would wait until I got home. They asked me if I was sure and I said yes without ever explaining that I had an upset stomach because I thought I could wait until we got home.

We walked around the park for about another hour and I sat down as much as I could when my sister and brother would go on a ride because I was hoping it would help my stomach settle down but that wasn't working. By the time my parents finally decided to leave and go home, my stomach was in an uproar and I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't find a bathroom soon. I should have broke down and told my parents what was going on but I was too embarrassed to tell them and I didn't want my sister and brother to tease me so I kept it to myself as we walked to the car and moments later, it happened.

I had a small bowel movement and I still didn't tell my parents what was going on. They became suspicious when I started walking extremely slow, trailing behind them and my siblings and they kept telling me to keep up but I couldn't. So now it's time for me to get in the back seat of the car with my sister and brother and I still didn't tell my parents what happened and I was hoping we could get home fast enough before they started to smell anything. I never felt so dirty in my life as I rode home that night but it was my pride that brought me to this place and even though I was worried about what could happen next, my pride kept me from saying anything.

When we got home, I slowly tried getting out of the car as my parents kept looking at me wondering what was going on and asking why I was acting so strange. I quickly looked at the seat to make sure there was nothing on it and it was a sigh of relief when I saw that I didn't leave a mess in my parents' car. I walked as fast as I could in the house after my dad opened the door and I went straight to the bathroom and took a deep breath I looked in the mirror and saw that there were no obvious stains on my clothes. As messy and as nasty as it was, I managed to pull it off. I took the clothes and my undergarments and put them into a bag I found under the sink and I tied it into the biggest knot. I showered, changed my clothes and threw away the evidence without my parents knowing anything.

I never told my parents or my siblings about this moment so if my mother is watching me type this from heaven, she's probably in total shock right now. If my dad were to read this from his home in Florida, he would probably start laughing and would say "so that's what happened? Girl, you should have said something!" My brother and sister were pretty young at the time and I doubt they would even remember that night considering the fact that we went to the fair and the carnival as family every year around that time.

Wow! Pulling back the covers has never been so freeing! I'm sitting here smiling right now I as I finish this story and believe it or not, I actually feel good about the fact that I've shared this moment from my past. I'm not ashamed anymore and I was actually able to look back on this moment and laugh at myself and remember the life lesson that I learned from it. This will be one challenge to remember and even this has taught me something about the power of telling your story and speaking your truth!