my stupid love life

Hello, I'm Harriet, and I'm on a quest to find love in a world that sometimes feels tailored for extroverts. As a very introverted individual, I've learned to appreciate the beauty of solitude and the depth that introspection can bring to life.

With a sense of excitement and curiosity, I downloaded a popular dating app and created my profile. I carefully selected My best photos, crafting a bio that captured my love for books (which was a complete lie). Little did I know that this small act would change my life in a big way.

As I swapped through profiles, one particular photo caught my eye—a man with a warm smile standing on top of a mountain, the wind tousling his hair. His profile spoke of a shared passion for hiking and a love for indie music. I swiped right without a second thought.

To my surprise, a notification popped up—it was a match! His name was Alex, and we soon struck up a conversation. Our chat was filled with laughter, shared stories of epic hikes, and our favorite hidden-gem coffee shops in the city.

Our connection deepened as we exchanged messages daily, sharing dreams, fears, and our love for cheesy '80s movies. It was as if we had known each other for ages, yet we had never met in person...

As the days turned into weeks, our conversations grew longer and more intimate. We shared stories about our childhoods, dreams, and even our favorite books. I was drawn to his magnetic personality, and I began to fantasize about what a real-world meeting might be like.

However, as the days turned into months, something unexpected happened I started to feel overwhelmed. The constant texting and the thought of meeting him in person began to fill me with anxiety. I realized that while I had enjoyed our initial connection, the pace and intensity of our online interaction had become too much for my introverted nature.

One evening, I decided to be honest with Alex. I explained that I was introverted and needed time for myself to recharge. I admired our connection but needed to slow things down.

One evening, after a long day in school, I sat down at my computer, staring at the chat window where Alex and I had shared countless conversations. The once vibrant exchanges had become repetitive, and our virtual connection felt strained. I realized that the emotional intimacy that we had shared online was beginning to feel suffocating.

I took a deep breath and began to type, "Alex, we need to talk."

Alex's reply was swift, "What's on your mind, babe?"

I hesitated for a moment, gathering my thoughts, and then typed, "I think we need to take a step back. Our relationship has grown so intense, so quickly, that it's become overwhelming for me."

There was a pause on the other end, followed by Alex's response, "I understand what you mean, Harriet. I've felt it too."

This took me aback as it was not what i was expecting him to say .This was not the response that i had imagined in my head .I almost cried, wanted to but I could not .I always thought that I was the price!But what did I know, I was so new in this world of dating ,. and to be honest, this was my first love.

Anyway, we both acknowledged that we had allowed the online connection to escalate at a pace that neither of us had anticipated. The virtual world had blurred the lines between reality and fantasy.

I continued, "I think it's important for us to rediscover ourselves outside of this digital bubble. I want us to have room to breathe, to be individuals before we try to be a couple."

To my surprise ,Alex agreed, and we decided to take a break from our online connection, promising to focus on our personal growth and well-being. It was a difficult decision, one that came with a mix of sadness and relief. But then I am a very undecisive person, I honestly never meant to end things. In my mind I asked myself so many questions.

when did men decide to stop being insistent and persuasive?I know I am the one who asked for it but did he just agree to breaking up with me without trying to at least defend our relationship??Or am I just toxic for wanting to end things when i really didn't want them to end.