My Avril Lavigne Days

My Avril Lavigne Days

Though I was a Whitney Houston Fan and loved toning my vocals on all her songs, I pretty much grew up dreaming that Avril Lavigne was solely born to write and sing my theme songs ("Complicated" Avril Lavigne). It was like the Universe knew exactly when to play the right song of hers. The Universe played her songs every time when something happened to me, either when I was rejected, heartbroken, or in a complicated situation, or was just being plain stupid; no exaggeration, well maybe just a little.

("Hello Heartache" Avril Lavigne)

It was 2006, when I was attending the conjoined Wingate High School/Middle School, as a naïve teenager, at the time, I believed that I was living my life for my parents, specifically for my mother. I strived for good grades. I strived for attention from mommy but did not receive it. Instead, my good report cards, almost every last one of them were picked up by friend's parents who wished I were their kid. The report cards that managed to make it home were either on the floor ripped, or in the trashed crumpled up. I just thought why bother anymore. (“Third Eye Blind”). All those beautiful A's and nice trophies were an effort wasted and once I realized I was a waste of space I stopped trying. I tried to end it all ("I'm with you" Avril Lavigne).

I do not recall what happened, but it was stopped. I had to keep going as if I was fine, I did that by browsing www.avrillavigne.com. For a week straight, I listened to "Everybody hurts" and even sang it a few times. In class, I did not remember the full lyrics, so I went back to "Fall to Pieces" since I had the lyrics in my bookbag. There were a couple of other singers and rappers in my classroom, so they joined me too, and we got together and niggerified it. That is when you take a wonderful song and add some extra marinara, elbow grease, and Sooooul to it.

Telling this story for me usually stops here for plenty of reasons. My parents were hard working folks and were not home when I had to go home. However, for some odd reason, the landlord or the supper was always at our apartment fixing things that I swear he always broke so he could be there ("Happy Ending"). I never told anyone until years later to my therapist, best friends, boyfriend and my little sister. My Muslim parents will have judged me and blamed me instead unfortunately ("Wake me up when September Ends").

Unfortunately, I am always misunderstood, and I feel it every other day. It drives me insane. I isolate myself and just do overtime with my music. If only music could pay or house me then I would not have to be with my family. If only music could be my family then I would not have to trust anybody else or be with others because I'd already have everything I needed. Sadly, this is where I end the story. Though "My Happy Ending" bares a whole different meaning from my story, it was the title at the time. I wanted something to help keep my innocence, or at least I told/fooled myself. The lyrics did not match the situation I went through as a child but Listening to Avril Lavigne and singing along with her kept me from jumping off bridges and has led me to become a woman that is now serving this country. obtained multiple degrees, helping others, giving back to her community and to others. Still singing, singing in different countries, assisting with strengthening alliances.

Disclaimer: This in no way excludes all the other cool songs that were coming out or playing during that time frame. I just could not be as creative and don’t want to miss an opportunity to post my work.