Low-level families like to keep "reasoning", and high-level families, fathers will do these 5 things

The dangers of the absence of a father's love began to appear from elementary school.

There was once a documentary that revealed the hidden pain behind "problem children".

The boy lacked the company of his father since he was a child, and even if his father was at home, he would only yell.

He fought against his father since he was a child, and was so angry that his father never cared about him again. So no one taught him right and wrong, right and wrong.

At the age of 14, the boy fought with a classmate and accidentally stabbed someone else.

There are also some children after the age of 6 who are rude, talk back, don't like making friends, beat people, and even rebellious, disobedient to discipline, and tired of learning.

The police at the juvenile detention center said that this situation is called a typical paternal love deficiency.

Children lacking fatherly love are emotionally unstable, impulsive, and fragile in their hearts, and are prone to make mistakes with passion.

The famous animation master Hayao Miyazaki missed his son's childhood because he was busy with work, causing father and son to "turn against each other".

When the son grew up, he kept attacking his father: "He made my mother work harder than ordinary women. He was a zero-point father and was useless at home."

Hayao Miyazaki said: "No matter how many animations I draw, no matter how many people's childhoods I warm, I can't replace my son's childhood."

The world is secretly punishing fathers who do not accompany their children.

When you lie in bed and look at your phone, do you want your child to study hard? impossible.

What you gain is also a teenager who likes to play games and watch videos in bed.

When you leave homework and storytelling to your child's mother and stare at the TV yourself, you get the same child who doesn't like to study, loses concentration, and likes to watch TV.

When you think your child is troublesome, you don’t want to talk to him, you don’t like playing with toys with him, and you don’t want to go out with him, many years later, if you want to communicate with your child, you may also be forgotten in a corner of WeChat.

Because your kids will treat you the same way.

Companionship is the best education. If you habitually think that "education of children is a mother's business", after so many years, all your laziness in accompanying children will become the deepest regret on the road of education.

Professor Li Meijin said:

What a child needs before the age of 6 is a mother, and when a child starts to go to school and go to society, he needs the influence of his father even more.

The research results of the Peru State College in the United States show that:

Children raised by men have higher IQs, perform better in school, and are more likely to succeed in society.

Recent research has shown that when dads help with homework, children do better.

Cai Xiaowan, who did not graduate from university, a family of 8 squeezed in a 16-square-meter rental house, but trained 6 children to become talents, known as the "father of doctors".

Eldest son Cai Tianwen, Ph.D. from Cornell University;

The second son, Cai Tianwu, was admitted to the Junior Class of the University of Science and Technology of China at the age of 14 and graduated with a doctorate at the age of 25;

The third son, Tianshi Cai, graduated from Beijing Foreign Studies University and Ph.D. from St. John's University;

The fourth son, Cai Tianrun, graduated from the Department of Medicine of West China Medical University;

The fifth son, Cai Tianjun, holds a master's degree from the University of Science and Technology of China, and now holds an important position in a banking institution;

The sixth daughter, Cai Tianxi, graduated with a Ph.D. from MIT at the age of 18 and became the youngest associate professor at Harvard University at the age of 28.

Many media interviewed him: "What is your parenting secret?"

"I see my father as my career," he said.

Lin Yilun has been silent for many years, and is known again because of the title of "Scholarly Patriarch".

The eldest son, Lin Zihao, was admitted to Parsons School of Design, which ranks second in the world and No. 1 in the United States, and is known as the "Harvard of Design Schools", and received a scholarship of $12,000 per quarter.

The youngest son, Leo, was the only boy enrolled in China that year by Thatcher Middle School, which ranked No. 1 on the West Coast of the United States.

In the growth of the two children, Lin Yilun has never been absent.

"My biggest career is to be a good father," he said.

"National Talented Girl" Wu Yishu was admitted to Xinya College of Tsinghua University with a total score of 613 points in the science subjects of the college entrance examination (the Shanghai college entrance examination score was 660, ranking 65th among the candidates in Shanghai), but she did not have excellent grades since she was a child.

At that time, she was admitted to the junior high school with the bottom score.

After entering junior high school, Wu Yishu's grades quickly rose to the top 10 in the grade, especially in chemistry.

Speaking of Wu Yishu's "counter-attack", the principal highlighted her family atmosphere: her father put down his mobile phone after returning home every day and concentrated on being with his children.

A 2003 Harvard study found:

Girls lack fatherly love, and it is easy to learn mathematics poorly; boys lack fatherly love, and they are prone to emotional disorders.

When they grow up, girls are more likely to become unconfident and even affect their view of mate choice; boys will feel inferior and rebellious, affecting their studies and careers.

Nobel laureate Richard Feynman said: "A large part of my success came from my father's education."

Psychologists also point out that there are many benefits for fathers to accompany their children:

1. Children's IQ and EQ are higher.

A WHO study found that children who spend more than two hours a day with their fathers on average have higher IQ and emotional intelligence.

"The Current Situation of Family Education in China" says:

"Fathers have an irreplaceable influence on children's learning, character, emotion, quality, and physique."

2. Children are more self-disciplined and self-controlled.

Research from Harvard University shows that there are two development directions in life, one is intimacy, the mother has a natural advantage in this regard; the other is independence, which is the natural advantage of the father.

The company of a father can help children learn to distinguish right from wrong, have more sense of responsibility, and have more self-control awareness and self-disciplined behavior in the face of temptation.

3. Children feel more secure.

2 to 6 years old is a critical period for every child to establish a sense of security. The father’s sufficient company not only gives the child a sense of security, but also helps the child better explore the world, develop the ability to explore and good living habits, which will help character development.

For a boy, his father is a hero and a role model, teaching him self-confidence, courage, responsibility and pattern.

For girls, dad is a companion and a safety, so that girls can learn self-esteem, self-love, and then love.

A psychological study showed that:

Chatting for 10 minutes before going to bed can not only establish a good parent-child relationship, but also improve the child's thinking and expression ability.

Take time before bed and talk to your child about these 5 sentences.

1. What makes you happy today?

Strengthen your child's memory of good things.

2. What new knowledge did you learn today?

Let the children consolidate the knowledge through repetition.

3. Did you encounter any difficulties today?

Make children feel more secure.

4. Did you help others today?

Make children more successful.

5. Which child talks to you the most today?

Encourage your child to build their own social circle.

In addition, the father needs to do the following:

Play with your child for at least 10 minutes a day.

Some dad will say, only 10 minutes? I spend a few hours with my kids every day.

In the past few hours, if you are lying on the sofa brushing your phone and playing games, then this is invalid companionship and useless.

Put down your phone and play with your child with all your heart.

This 10 minutes, the effect is unexpected.

Exercise with your child at least once a week.

It can be mountain climbing, football, badminton.

After the child exercises, dopamine will be produced, which can keep him in a state of excitement and learn happily.

Eat dinner with your child at least 3 times a week.

Dinner is a rare time for a family to get together, and it is also a sense of ritual for the day. Dad tries not to be absent.

While eating, ask your child:

"Baby, are you happy today? Is there anything fun? Do you need help from your parents?"

Let the child feel the care and love of the parents, and the parent-child relationship can be more harmonious.

Of course, when fathers are with their children, don't forget to take care of mothers' emotions.

If there is a disagreement, it is best to discuss it privately, not in front of the child.

There is a "law of the watch" in psychology:

If a child only listens to one person, he can easily judge right and wrong; if it becomes multiple voices, he does not know what is right and what is wrong, and the sense of proportion in speaking and doing things will be destroyed.

Therefore, as a father, as long as the general direction of the mother is correct, then stand firmly in the position of the mother.

Fathers give their children the power to accompany and be role models, while mothers establish rules and teach children how to behave and do things in the world.

Parents do their part, keeping the balance of love and education balanced.

A father is the foundation of a child's childhood.

He will affect a child's character and pattern, as well as his career development, life direction, marriage attitude, and even his entire life.

If you don't believe me, go and see how the son understands marriage in those families where the father yells at the mother and talks rudely;

Look at how sons understand marriage in families where fathers are considerate and soft-spoken toward their mothers.

Never underestimate the subtle influence of a father on a child.

People are used to what they see; what they are used to, they will reflect.

I like a passage from writer Liang Fengyi:

The greatest success of a family is to raise an excellent, motivated and grateful child.

Share this with Dad:

Accompanying is not a matter for the mother alone. The time that the father invests in the child will affect the child's life.

May every child grow up with a mother and a father together.