Living with a superficial person
Was it her star sign or something else?
Some years ago I let a friend and her boyfriend move into my family home. I was a single parent and it was getting hard keeping up with all the bills, and I had a small procedure at the time that was quite possibly going to be a very cancerous journey, but I was lucky, one of the very few that are.
She was a creative and I believed in her drive so I wanted to invest all my photography skills, education and planning into our friendship and partnership for a seriously big business goal. We could have been a powerful business duo, but of course, that means you don't mix home with business.
To this day I felt like we had an even/balanced lifestyle that made some things easy and others more complicated. But the hardest part was not an 'agree to disagree' issue at all.
I should have seen the red flags, now I was all kinds of F***ed up while going through an identity crisis, divorce, potential series of chemo so I'm no saint. I wreaked havoc in love and lust in my life and was a single mum, ticking time bomb without a normal sleeping pattern and learning to be a human without the man I met at 15 and married at 18, three children later in my mid 20's.
I felt like I had a lot to catch up on and very little time because being a mother was something I took seriously and I'd never compromise my parenting choices and career goals.
But during my crumble and fall, before I rose and tumbled many more times, I noticed one consistency. My roomie's nature. Judgemental yet faulted, flawed and hypocritical. Now it's been years and at times I tried to reach out to make amends because I don't hold grudges and I believe there is GOOD in everybody. I look for the reality in peoples lives. This was not something we had in common at all. There is a root to all problems and idiosyncrasies.
She wanted to look like a real-life barbie, while I loved to embrace the natural rare unique beauties in body, soul and lifestyle. Now I'm sure it can't just be a star sign thing because I'm sure there are other's unlike this, I'm just yet to meet one.
But as a Gemini, we get wrongly abused as 'two faced' when the meaning behind that is balancing environments/peoples nature and versatility, bonding and open-mindedness. So let us just think about how a Gemini would be in any environment.
But what is it that I couldn't adapt to? Being judged by how my friends looked; 'I can't believe they are your friends, I don't want to be seen with ugly people' is something she said all too often.
Now it is ok to have standards in some ways but F**k those people were beautiful. They weren't ugly on the inside. Where it matters when you use too much botox to hide your wrinkles one day.
I let it pass, I said things lightly never to hear her opinion more than I had to from that moment. But where I couldn't deal anymore was while I had real problems, addiction to drugs from painful pasts she turned to her fiance and said "oh babe, we will have to get you booked in for some botox around your eyes". Like that was the answer to his ailments. Botox can be used for pain but this was for the way her fiance looked.
Buy some eye cream, ask him if he is working too much for the dream wedding, maybe alter your dreams for the sake of health. Give him a kind and caring touch and show him love. If you want to stand in front of me and tell your partner they need botox because you didn't want to be embarrassed out in public with him you will lose the last ounce of respect that I have for you.
I'm happy to own my failures and faults because I was one big mess. But I wish that I understood her motives and could see if it took her to success and love herself wholly. I still want to cheer her on. She was the best at her job as a creative and I would love to see her succeed nonetheless.
I miss her, and I wish I knew the real her. She was a powerful woman with huge potential to help lift others up if she wanted to, for everyone, not just the pageant worthy models.
But in all truths, this story isn't a dig at her, it's more a cry to look deeper within. As I wonder if she missed me at all or if she followed her code of being a bit of a heartless person that can cut anyone out of her life if they don't suit her life choices.
Are you superficial because you don't love who you are or are you surrounded by superficial signs (or red flags) that you hope will just be skin deep until you get to know the person?
I'd love to know your roomie experiences.
About the author
Visual Communications & Social Media Specialist.
Photographer, Illustrator, Graphic Designer, Creative Writer, Content Producer & Curator, Editor, Columnist and Author. Passionate egalitarian.
Editor of HEART - the missing piece Magazine