I rode my bike without a helmet, and I turned out ok..

I tried to think of a story to share of my dad for this challenge entry but there are too many to share. My dad’s life was and is his story and lives on in the heart of my mom, sister, brother, his daughter-in laws, grandchildren, and I. He was a stubborn old fart, but we loved him dearly. He was the kind of guy that you couldn’t hate even if you wanted to, and everyone tells me I’m just like him.

He believed in tough love and wasn’t much for showing emotion. He wasn’t the type of dad who would sit you down and have long heart to heart talks or teach lessons. That’s not to say he didn’t teach us lessons. He just had a different way of doing it.

Dad was more the lead by example type even though I’m not entirely sure he always knew that we were watching. One of the biggest things you could learn from watching my dad is the best way to learn how to do something is to jump in and do it and learn as you go. My biggest take away from my dad’s way of learning are that there are always “extra” pieces and, if there are instructions reading them first is a hell of a lot easier but in many aspects of life hands on training is the best way to learn.

He started teaching my brother Billy and me this pretty early when teaching Us how to swim. I remember one time in particular that he and my uncle took us out on the lake in a rented pontoon boat and threw us in. At least he did put the life jackets on first. As traumatizing as it sounds, I laugh as I think back to memories of my dad. He was a complete nut and though he could be tough at times I don’t think he had a serious bone in his body.

He was full of little sayings that he had and even though they weren’t always nice or funny sayings he had quite a few that we find humor in and we wouldn’t have him any other way. We will definitely miss him; goofiness and sayings included. Like how mom would cook supper and he would holler out “What kind of crap is this” when he fixed his plate and usually proceeded to have a second plate and the classic “Whatever” that he used as a way of admitting fault when arguing with mom in a tone and manner only he can get just right. Or how he randomly and repeatedly would say “When we were kids we rode our bike without a helmet, and we turned out ok”.

Though he wasn’t much on showing affection he was a family man that would do anything for us. Some of my most fond childhood memories include our family camping trips, swimming, fishing, hiking, white water rafting and mountain biking and yes, we rode our bikes without a helmet, and we turned out ok.

He carried this on with his grandkids as well. In fact, while writing this I asked my son what his favorite memory of Papaw is, and he told me about him and Papaw playing in the water at the lake when we took the kayaks to the bat cave. What he said he was going to miss the most though was Papaw playing games with him while I was working. I know what he means about that no matter how many times dad whooped our asses in monopoly and basically any type of board or card games we played, we all loved it and kept coming back for more.

One of the most valuable things he passed on to my siblings and I was his work ethic. He was one of the hardest working men I know and though I believe he is who I picked up the habit of working for break time he wasn’t afraid to put in long hours at work or even work multiple jobs to provide for his family. The last 10 years or so of his life he was a truck driver but most of my life and probably most of his he was a mechanic in factories and from what I remember 12 to 16-hour days or 50–60-hour work weeks weren’t outside his comfort zone. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from dad was to take pride in a hard day’s work.

My dad was pretty handy and there wasn’t much he wouldn’t at least attempt to do. But his wheelhouse was fixing machines it didn’t matter if it was a machine in a factory or a car. Give him a broke down machine and he could get it running again. Even if it involved pushing it through a parking lot while my mom popped the clutch though I’m sure it made for a memorable first date. He was the family mechanic if anyone in the family had a broke down car, he was the one to fix it. He taught Billy and I everything we know about cars from makes and models to most importantly getting them running again.

His talent as a carpenter on the other hand wasn’t quite as homed in as his mechanical skills but it never stopped him from trying. He wasn’t one who would admit to not knowing what he was doing and always found a way to get the job done. Most recently last summer we built a small deck by the pool at his and my mom’s house. We spent most of the day arguing because he was convinced his way would work better than mine. To give him credit it is still standing even if it does lean to one side a tad.

He was stubborn like that. He always had to try his way first and we all knew that when it came to a project you just had to let dad try it his way. It worked out in his favor most of the time with the exception of a few minor failed attempts. Like the time he broke his back trying to pull a giant concrete block out of the ground with his riding mower and flipped the mower over on top of him. But its ok because when he was a kid he rode his bike without a helmet, and he turned out ok.

People outside of the family say things like he was quiet, or he didn’t talk much little did they really know. He was a goofball, and he would often tell funny stories about the stupid things he did when he was younger like riding his bycicle down a big hill at the campground we all grew up camping in and jumping it off of the pier into the water as a child. I am most certain this was without a helmet on I’m sure.

He had a unique sense of humor. You could never really tell if he was being serious or not. My wife says that’s because he was never serious. The funniest thing was when he would go through the house singing silly songs or changing the words to some of his favorite songs. The most memorable though was hearing him sing the theme song for The Beverly Hillbillies. When he sang that one for some reason it always ended up with a bullfrog jumping up and biting poor Jed on the ass.

Those people weren’t completely wrong though at certain times he was quiet. Mostly because he didn’t have to use words to get his point across and he was well aware that at times it was best to observe rather than speak. This was especially true when it came to me bringing girls home, he never really expressed an opinion of any of the girls I brought home. If he had one, he usually kept those to himself at least until the relationship went south.

I knew my wife was the one from the first time I took her back home to meet my family. Once again, he kept his opinions to himself until the next time I went back home. Even then he kept it simple when I asked what he thought of her he simply said, “don’t fuck this one up”. Her favorite memory of dad is without a doubt our wedding day because my mom pulled dad aside and gave him a lecture about not farting during the wedding. Due to a miss hap in my first wedding when he was the only one who didn’t get the lecture and ripped one off in the middle of the service she thought he knew better.

What me and my dad had most in common was our love for college football the greatest sport to watch on tv. In our opinion of course. For us Saturday was gameday and it doesn’t matter what game you’re watching or what team you pull for as long as when it’s game time you’re wearing a crimson shirt with a white A. Dad was an avid Alabama fan and taught us from early childhood that they were the only team worth pulling for. Even through the down times like in the late 90’s when they were on probation and couldn’t attend post season games even if they had won enough to get there. He stuck with them and supported and taught us to do the same. With the exception of my sis the bulldog fan I’m pretty sure she was dropped on her head a few times though. All the memories I have of my dad; the good the bad and everything in between, what I’m going to miss the most is our Saturday evening phone calls in the fall recapping the games of the day. And of course, complaining about all the mistakes Bama made no matter how much they won by.

I could go on and on about all the stories I have of my dad and his crazy goofy little sayings that he had. Like on the blistering cold winter days when he would come in the house and say “it’s colder than a witches titty out there” or in the summer he would say with sweat beading of his forehead “It’s hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock” his sayings were crazy, but I can hear him saying them as I write this, and it cracks me up. Another memorable moment that particularly stands out was the Christmas Billy wanted a paintball gun so bad he could taste it and how excited he was when he opened it, but dad had to be the one to take the first shot. Shooting Billy in the ass at point blank range. Oh, and did I mention that he rode his bike without a helmet, and he turned out ok.

January 5th of this year was the hardest day of my life to this point. It’s the day that we had to say goodbye to my dad. Life will never be the same without him, but I know he would want us all to cherish the good times and memories and carry on. Thankfully my family has the peace of mind that he was in good faith, and we will see him again soon enough in heaven.

I just pray that when my time comes, and my number is called my son has an overfilled vault of good memories and lessons learned that he can cherish like I do. I also hope to be a good role model and can teach my son the same values I learned from my dad. Values like don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty, work hard, play harder, and never throw away the extra pieces. Take time to enjoy with family and build memories that last a lifetime. How to enjoy the simplicity of life and not take anything to seriously. Most importantly jump into the deep end, don’t be afraid to take chances and learn as you go. Don’t be afraid to ride your bicycle without a helmet, chances are you’ll turn out ok.