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I Can't

When Passion Isn't Enough

By Natasja RosePublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 4 min read
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I Can't
Photo by Edurne Tx on Unsplash

Today, I made a very hard decision: I'm leaving the HealthCare industry.

It's not that I fell out of love with the work that's driven me for more than half my life. I do. I probably always will, and I hope there is some way for me to keep doing it.

It's not that I don't want, with all my heart, for the people I worked with to continue getting the best care that I, and others, could provide. I feel torn in half at the idea that I'll be replaced by someone indifferent to my patients. I don't want to go.

I'll miss the old lady who puts lipstick on every morning, because she's done it all her life and damned if she won't continue doing it until she's in her coffin! (The Mortuary Beautician had better get the right shade, too, because if she goes to the afterlife with nude or dark lipstick, she'll come back and haunt the ones responsible!) I'll miss the older man who jokes with me about messy apartments and whose idea was it for a retirement community apartment not to have a chute to a trash room, instead of making Pensioners walk up and down a dozen flights of stairs, anyway?

I'll miss the one whose dog raced to greet me, demanding pats before I was allowed to put my bag down. I'll miss the lady who found out that I was excited about having a garden for the first time in a decade when I drove her to the garden centre, and made a point of pointing out the best plants for beginner gardeners. I'll miss the one who never bothered with a towel or robe going between their room and the bathroom, "Because any Peeping Toms deserve to be traumatised by my wrinkled old body!"

I never did manage to formulate a counter-argument to that.

We've been hearing the same complaint around the world for months now: "No-one wants to work anymore!"

It's a little more complicated than that. Most people do want to work, and the vast majority need to, having burned through their savings in lockdowns and little problems like rent and bills still existing.

But, much like in the wake of the Black Death and similar Pandemics, COVID-19 caused a lot of people to take a long, hard look at their lives, and decide that they didn't want to risk their lives for minimum wage. Penalty rates are not worth being abused by smug anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers who want to film your reaction for a few more views. Applause doesn't pay the rent, and you can thank nurses by not picking a fight when they ask you to keep to social distance requirements.

In the USA alone, over 824,000 people have died of COVID-19. Worldwide, it's around 5,440,000 deaths, and growing daily. There isn't any solid statistics for those affected by Long COVID who are on temporary disability, or who may never be able to resume their old jobs. Aside from the elderly and vulnerable, a lot of those cases were Essential and Frontline workers, who didn't have the option of working from home.

A lot of them are dead, now.

By Prateek Gautam on Unsplash

The ones who are left... they're burnt out, exhausted, keeping going through sheer willpower and passion, trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other, for one more day.

It's not sustainable.

Teachers and Nurses have been especially hard-hit, and it doesn't look to be getting better any time soon.

In Australia, the hospital system has been in crisis for years. Decades, even. Budget cuts lead to one person trying to do the work of two or three people. An hourly rate barely above the legal minimum wage for skilled work requiring years of training, round-the-clock work hours with similarly low compensation, physical work that takes a toll on your body... doesn't really incentivize people to pick Nursing as a career.

Successive governments have adamantly refused to consider a pay-raise, or even commit to mandatory minimum staffing levels.

In New South Wales, it just got worse.

Read: 'Exceptional' = 'All', because hospitals have been chronically understaffed for years BEFORE 2020, and there are a limited number of people willing to risk their lives for poverty wages.

For those less skilled at reading between the lines, the New South Wales Health Minister just gave the green light to force COVID-Positive but Asymptomatic Nurses out of Isolation (the only break we get these days) and back into Hospitals and Aged Care Homes while potentially infectious.

Expect Teachers, Early Childhood Educators and other Essential professions to be next.

I'm done.

Those of my friends and colleagues who feel able to stay; you are my heroes, and I wish you the best.

I was already planning to cut back my hours this year so I could attend TAFE and update my administrative skills in the hope of transitioning to the administrative side of things, (remember that bit about wrecking your body and hellish hours?) but now I'm straight-up throwing in the towel.

I love my work, but not enough to die for it.

I'm not normally so blatant, but money is going to be tight for a bit, so if you're able to leave a tip, pledge support, or even share this around for extra reads, I'd appreciated it.

If you liked this story, leave a heart or a tip, and follow me on Vocal and Medium!

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About the Creator

Natasja Rose

I've been writing since I learned how, but those have been lost and will never see daylight (I hope).

I'm an Indie Author, with 30+ books published.

I live in Sydney, Australia

Follow me on Facebook or Medium if you like my work!

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Comments (2)

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  • Test3 months ago

    Thank you for this. I can't even imagine working in healthcare at the height of the pandemic, and the trauma afterwards. We're all traumatized but medical professionals had it the worst. I hope you find the most fulfillment in your new pursuits.

  • Sandra Tena Cole3 months ago

    Thank you for having had the courage of sharing this! It stands as documented proof against the conspiracy theorists and terrible governments who are now trying to convince us that it never happened or that "it wasn't that bad". And thank you for everything you did during the pandemic! I hope you found your way into a job you love!❣️

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