Fashion Exposé Part 1

The word Exposé is defined as follows: "To expose a person or situation means to reveal that they are bad or immoral in some way.

...the story of how the press helped expose the truth about the Nixon administration.

Synonyms: reveal, disclose, uncover, air "

Both the origins of this word and fashion, itself - are very French. Passion, love, and sensualism also have some roots in French culture. I'm asking you to excuse my French a little while I write a piece about exposing - and perhaps even, embracing the bad side(s) in all of us. whatever that may be (unless, of course, it's abusive or hurtful to another human being or animal. We can't have that here. Not that kind of bad.)

I recently saw most of Disney's new film, "Cruella", which follows the sad, tragic backstory behind the two sided twisted fashion mogul and villain portrayed in 101 Dalmations. In it, she is told to hide who she is, including her most iconic features, and truest most identifiable parts of herself. That blending in will help her be accepted more. She dyes her hair to cover her painfully obvious two toned natural hair color - black and blonde, split half and half. One of the opening scenes is of ladies screaming upon seeing her. What kind of baby could look like this? She was demonized and villainized long before she was ever a villain or had a wanting to be one. It was expected. She was extremely fashionable from the start - but her mom was a fashion queen as well... she got it naturally. But the school she attended wouldn't accept it. Any expression of emotion or fashion, or standing up for others - once including saving a dog from a dumpster, dumped there by the same bullies who threw her in it, no doubt, was frowned upon. That dog led her on adventures, became her best friend, opened her eyes - both to truths of her mother, and to show her the way after her mother was tragically killed. It led her into and out of situations as she navigated through life. It followed her around and stuck with her through thick and thin. How could she not become obsessed with dogs and fur coats? In a couple parts of the movie, she even saw how the place her mother worked - and those who worked with her, viewed her mother's decision to have, to keep, and to raise her, and their opinion on the child, "that thing" that "piece of trash", etc.

She ended up going through the motions in life, hiding her true desires for last, putting others and everything else first, oppressing her emotions until they burst to the surface like a volcano - or until she'd had more than enough from those who hurt her most (including those who arranged her mother's murder)

At one point in the movie, the part that is really crushing to see - she has huge fashion potential, but every idea she presents to her idolized boss is rejected, critiqued, criticized or tossed out - even though she is very good at what she does. It's not what her boss would have expected or done with it. In once such scene, the right hand man to Cruella's boss shows an expression of approval, curiosity and seems impressed, through his facial expressions as he peers at her designs, while she is letting her boss view it. But the woman in charge does not agree, and tells her to change it. And his expression changes to that of confusion and wondering. It's as if he's thinking what we can all see - "why do you hate this girl so much, when clearly all she's ever tried to do is love you and earn your approval?" She was brought to the company because of the media fanfare over her first design and her fashion potential, but every design after was rejected.

And then, poor Cruella discovers that this lady is her mother's killer. It's the same lady who fired her over having Cruella, the same who ordered her dogs to push her over the cliff, and who judged her from the beginning. And suddenly, Cruella doesn't care as much. And her true friends - though villains themselves, tell her that she has true fashion potential, and all her designs are good, and that her boss is a fool to not see how good she truly is. She even sets out on a plan to get revenge, one that includes attempting to buy a dress she really wants, instead of stealing it like most other things. I think that's one truly admirable part - that at one point, Cruella tries to earn her way towards something financially before resorting to stealing like normal. She doesn't truly want to be stuck in the same old, same old, steal and cheat your way in, always. After all, she applied, and tried to get in to the fashion company the right way, before she had to cheat her way into that too, with the help of Jasper and Horace.

But there is a flaw in their plan... She has worked for this woman for months, now. And the question remains: "Well, what if she recognizes you? You could lose everything over getting this revenge for your mother."

And she finally decides that the only way she can succeed and stay at the company (or maybe yet, take it over) and keep both her life and job, is if she embraces every part of who she is - her hair, her looks, that dress she wants, but hasn't gotten yet - put off till last like the rest of her life-- and last, but not least - her bad side. Every bit of the things everyone thought the worst of will be her ticket in, her disguise, as well as the reveal over the reason for the revenge - and then, at last, it wouldn't matter if she's recognized or not.

Some of the things I go through are much like Cruella.

I love fashion, but am always told to change, or it's too much, or too extra, or different, or un Christian - even when trying to dabble in as plain an expressive side as I can - to appeal to interviewers and jobs that have told me they don't hire women who don't wear makeup because they like a person who's more put together.

I put outfits together well, and even create my own.

And yes, I get told every day how unwanted and different and unthought of in good ways that I am, and how I can only be worthless, bad, horrible trash - not acceptable enough for society, my hometown, churches, family, or community.

When I get excited, I'm told to calm down. When I'm sad or depressed - I'm too negative. When I'm hurt or sad, after people judge or talk down to me - it's wrong to cry or be angry about it. Because Anger is bad, too.

I don't blend in well enough, and I came with judgments and labels since the beginning - perhaps since before the beginning.

The church has made it clear - babies are the bad side. Sex is wrong. attraction or thoughts of it towards others are impure. Even saying someone is pretty, according to a recent sermon I attended as requirements for housing. Having kids is wrong, sinful, and horrible. Raising them on your own is formidable and frowned upon, judged, and receives both rebuke and discrimination. If it's found out about, you get called in to a headmaster's or pastor's office alone to be asked lots of questions for an hour or longer about their worst assumptions and judgments and thoughts of how this came about the way they imagined - and even if you tell the truth, your answer is wrong, because it's "not what they would have expected you to say."

"What is fornification?"

"Well, umm ... having sex."

"Having sex when?"

"When you're not married"

"You mean before marriage."

"How do you know it's wrong? Tell me in your own words why fornication is wrong?"

That's not the usual answer we get so it's wrong."

And you know, I couldn't think of one concrete answer. All I could think of was all the judgments I'd heard over the years, since I learned I was adopted and received minimal but first answers to my questions. "

..."Your horrible mother"

"well, why was she horrible?"

"Because she had you."

"Wow. Gee, I'm sorry"

The first time I was attracted to a guy, and was forced to eat a completely black, rotten banana. And was told, "you are what you eat: rotten"

"Maybe it's wrong because the way guys treat women when they do fornification or rape women reminds me of being molested my entire childhood. Maybe that's why it's wrong."

"Or maybe it's supposed to be wrong because of how sex is wrong. and the church has always either said so, or avoided the topic and the very word at all costs"

"But it's weird, because in the end, they tell you you have to get married anyway, and have kids. And the way to do that is to have sex, which has to happen anyway, even though all it ever does is receive judgment, rebuke, disdain, and makes you horrible and unwanted anyway. the church is just a bunch of hypocrites that likes to point the finger at the obviously affected party, rather than the one that started/caused it, but never does a damn thing about the damned man who did it to her in the first place. So I don't know why it's wrong or what the singular answer is supposed to be - but that's all the reasons I can think of by experience."

"Well, that's the wrong answer."

Why is it the wrong answer?

Because it's not what I expected. it's not the excuse justifying what they did that I typically get from people. So it's wrong."

Eventually after much more back and forth, and many more questions, I just asked: "Is that all? is there anything more you want to tell me I'm wrong for? Or is this meeting over, and can I leave now?"

"Yes, that's - well that's not all, but that's all for today. You can leave now."

If this is how I'm pegged before people get to know me, after asking about something they hear, and the furthest extent they'll go in trying to get to know me.. What am I to do in life?

Am I to hide everything all the time, just for them to find out anyway, and when confronted, and interrogated, for things to erupt like a volcano - and cry off and on for days on end?

Am I to define myself by these judgments, and live only as they think I deserve - which is nothing at all?

Am I to rise above and try to continue to follow my own pursuits, whatever those may be, like Cruella's brave mother, who stood up for herself, put on her best dress, and attended the ball anyway, in spite of her boss, her company, and the adults who may think otherwise - clear up to her death, trying to gain respect in a workforce that degrades everything that's truly woman about women the whole time they're trying to make a respectable income and career, clear down to being dragged down to death, like she wasn't already lowered and dragged down by the judgments and thoughts of people anyway...

I think there's something very admirable about that. That she rejected their rejection because she had a right to be there like she had every year prior as an employee and member of the company and she would not be shamed for choosing BOTH her family and career, just because her life got changed for her unexpectantly - demanding the paycheck, the right to attend - and in a very nice dress, not matter who she outshone - no matter how the others treating people that way doesn't equal shining anyway. Her heart was gold, and so was her dress. And I think, even in her worst moments, that showed in Cruella.

Even in her revenge, she offered a share of the best to her truest best friends who were with her no matter what. She didn't go to some other heist planner, she kept Jasper and Horace at her side, giving to them of what she had to offer, even when revenge could have been sweeter kept to herself. And in the dangerous moment, fleeing the security at the ball event after witnessing her mother's murder, she saved her puppy on the way out, even though it took more time and changed her route slightly. She didn't just save herself -- and that choice rewarded her later, as the pup became her good luck charm.

OR, am I to embrace my bad side, like Cruella gives us the example of? Am I to turn this Big, Bad, Baby Diaper bag into not one, but 2 different corsets, for DOUBLE the TROUBLE, and TOTAL, complete Badassery, and kick the negativity, judgment, and rebuke to the curb?

I say let's go for it. Unleash my inner Cruella, or let her guide me through my badassery to embrace my dark side and build my confidence a little.

So, to embracing my bad side, as Fashion Exposé Part 1: I give you the Diaper bag, - turned fashionable vintage style Corset.

As I travel through the country for business, I value the opinions for sake of research. Always start with your research. Maybe that's the Dork in me, whether or not that side is acceptable to society or not, either.

I asked three ladies at different coffee shops what their opinions were as to how believable that this could be done.

After all, it's an x factor challenge. Not the way they do in Chopped, food shows, or fear factor shows on tv, but Finally, with fashion as the x factor.

Badass Barista's Opinion box:

Badass Barista #1: I don't know if it's doable, but it will be doggone freakin' adorable as a corset.

Badass Barista #2: I'm not the person to ask, but you should ask her - fashion is more her thing.

Badass Barista #3: I don't sew, but I give it a MAYBE... it has potential.

I will continue to update with Fashion Exposé parts two and three, and pictures of the corset as I go along.

When the Corset(s) are finished, I will let them be modeled on the hanger.

I've presented the evidence.

Do you believe it's compelling, or not? I've asked the Badass Baristas, and now I ask you: Do you think this Big, Bad, Baby Diaper Bag can be transformed into a TOTAL badass vintage corset? Let me Know!

And whether you believe it can, or not -- I'm going to do it: not once, but twice. one corset out of the outer fabric, and one out of the inner fabric - for not one, but two TOTAL Badass Vintage corsets.

Please Excuse my French fashion sense, Exposé and badass language reference.

Logging off as the badass blogger - this bad, klutzy, dorky miss - directly at your service.