Eternal Gaze

I still think about that moment on the jungle gym with him almost 40 years later.

Deep within the recesses of my mind, there exists a moment that continues to resurface, a memory that holds a special place in my heart. It was a fleeting encounter, one of those instances that I find myself revisiting every now and then, even after all these years. It may seem obscure to some, but its depth and significance remain etched in my soul.

I was just a young child, navigating the complexities of life in the fifth grade. It was during recess, amidst the laughter and playfulness of the playground, that this extraordinary moment unfolded. As I made my way up the side of geometric dome jungle gym, an adventure in its own right, something magical happened. Simultaneously, on the other side, he, a classmate in the fourth grade whose name has faded from memory, embarked on the same ascent.

Our paths converged at the peak of the dome, and in that instant, an energetic connection enveloped us. His eyes, reminiscent of shimmering sea crystals, held a captivating allure that stirred something deep within me. It was as if a surge of electricity surged through my veins, awakening a rush of emotions I had never experienced before. I can still feel it now, all these years later.

In that suspended moment, time seemed to stand still. The world around us faded into insignificance, while our gaze locked in a profound exchange. I peered into his eyes, losing myself in their depths, and felt a stirring within my heart that I couldn't quite comprehend. It was a mix of emotions, a concoction of excitement and fear, all intertwined in a beautiful dance. And as the gaze was happening, this beautiful bright innocent smile appeared on his face as he looked at me. We said nothing. We just stared at each other.

For a brief moment, I allowed myself to revel in the intensity of my feelings. I embraced the warmth that coursed through my body, the sheer joy of being seen and acknowledged in that unique connection. But as quickly as the emotions rushed in, uncertainty clouded my young mind. How could I, at such a tender age, understand the complexities of love? Confusion gripped me, and I succumbed to the vulnerability that came with it.

In a flurry of emotions, I hastily descended from the jungle gym, seeking solace in the safety of distance. In my youthful naivety, I believed that he had somehow unraveled the secrets of my soul with a single glance. Fearful of being exposed, I ran away from the intensity, leaving behind a moment frozen in time.

Yet, as the years have passed, that fleeting moment continues to visit me in my thoughts. Even now, as I approach the milestone of fifty, I find myself pondering its significance. That connection, so powerful and profound, has remained unmatched in my life's journey. It was a glimpse into a love that defies explanation, a love untouched by societal expectations or the constraints of age.

As I reflect upon this cherished memory, I am left wondering if such a profound moment will ever grace my path again. It serves as a reminder of the depth and beauty that exists within the realm of human connection. And though I may never fully understand what transpired that day, I am grateful for the impact it has had on my life, forever etched in the tapestry of my existence.

I often wonder if he remembers that moment too. I often wonder if it was as profound on his end as it was on mine. But it’s something I’ll never know.