Have you ever met someone that you fell instantly for on a deep soulful level? It might be love, it might be friendship, but from the moment you met that person … it’s like you were under a spell.
I met such a person, a girl with sea-storm eyes; by which I mean her eyes captured me like a stormy sea mesmerising sailors, finding one self unable to look away until it is too late, and you are dashed on the rocks … or heartbreak. From that first chance encounter, those eyes have not left my mind for more than a minute. When I sleep, I dream of those eyes. When I wake, I wonder about those eyes and what the day will bring to them. When I cook, I wish those eyes were on me, waiting eagerly for the feast I prepare for them to devour.
Those eyes …
I don’t even know if I’m in love, but I want … I need to see those eyes again. Hear her lyrical voice that smiles like rays of spring sunshine in the winter of my life; giving me a hope I thought gone for good. However, deep down, I am a coward and too weak to risk the fall again. This feeling is not new, it has happened before, however those times seem now a mere pin-prick to the hand compared to the blade in my heart of this coming fall.
A fall like the first to fly too close to danger that fateful day above the Icarian Sea, named for the fallen. Since then, those of us that fly too close to our own doom become known as the Children of Icarus. I see the girl with the sea-storm eyes like the sun was to Daedalus and his son. Keeping the right distance for the right time and I will fly to salvation … stray too close too soon, and share in the fate of Icarus. Too far and be engulfed by the waves of my own pessimism, why would she want me? Have I been doomed to share in the fate of those fallen before me? All the way back to the first melted wing, flying too close to danger. Doomed to a fall that comes no matter what.
If I fly much closer to her sun I risk being burned and falling from such a height, that this time I fear I will not survive. Forever unable to pick up the broken wings of my heart again … however if I do not change my altitude in this venture, in order to protect my heart from melting and breaking. I also condemn myself to be away from her laugh, her smile, her eyes … then is it better to have not flown at all?
The strength to call out, to tell her is at this time, beyond me. Fear and self-doubt have taken up space over time, with each previous fall they have grown stronger and more confident. Removing the power of hope and the brave heart of youth, willing to risk all for the chance of love. All I know is that I cannot go on like this, forever wondering what may be or could be if I was just brave enough to fly close enough to reach out in that timeless hope of fools ...
Will I be like Icarus; crash and burn after flying too close to danger, too close to the very thing I hoped would save me from a lonely fate ….
Too close to the scorching sun of her sea-storm eyes.
About the Creator
S.K. Wilson
She/Her | Australian 🏳️⚧️ Author
My short form writing mostly falls into the absurd, strange and nonsensical. I enjoy writing micro-fiction collections, been dabbling in poetry.
Debut Arthurian fantasy novel out now! The Knights of Avalon
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I worked for Mrs. Carpenter for many years. Mrs. Carpenter was a well to do woman. She was lovely and successful. She was happily married. And I love my job. I get paid to advise. I get paid to help people decorate. And so my job hooked me up with Mrs. Carpenter. She was a high profile client. And my boss wanted me to do everything in my power to make her feel welcome. And so we met and Mrs. Carpenter admired me. She was very welcoming and kind. She saw my plans on the second outing and she loved everyone of them. She loved my mind and my thoughts. She was just a good woman who saw my potential. And I asked to meet her husband. And Mrs. Carpenter said that he is away and that she is the main payer of the renovations. And that he allows her to do whatever. And so I was respectful and never asked again. Mrs. Carpenter asked for luxury. She asked for exquisite. She asked for Versailles. And I had to work really hard on the plans. I was one of the best interior designers on this side of the country. I put everything into fixing her house. She was very confiscated and she was very poise. She wanted the best and better. She wanted the best house in the region. And she wanted better than her neighbor. And I had to do many things to fulfill her fantasy. And when we finally after months got her plans, Mrs. Carpenter asked for me to oversee it. And I told her I was not qualified but she was persistent. And so my boss gave in for an additional bonus fee and Mrs. Carpenter happily paid. I usually would work days but I started working both nights and days for Mrs. Carpenter. My friends started to notice that I kept away from them. I was not going to the bar and I was not hanging out with them. I was completely dwelt on working and they called many times wondering where I've been and when I get off. But I promised them that I would make it up to them when I get that big paycheck on the weekends. And Mrs. Carpenter inquired that I come even late at night because that's when I could see what the contractors finished for the day. And so I came many nights, I had to dress up because that was my job protocol. I was alone and professional. And then one night Mrs. Carpenter dressed in robe said You seem like a goodman. You seem very smart, handsome, and strong. What I would like in a man? And I said I thought you were married. And she open the robe in lingerie and said my husband is always away doing something and I don't know. She begin to cry and try to embrace. And I tried to calm her down. She just kept crying and then she grab me and begin kissing. And I tried to fight her off but I had not been with my girlfriend in a while. I had not been with anyone in a while. I was lonely, desperate and wanting. And so I gave in to Mrs. Carpenter. And then I left in the morning. She was madly in love and happy. And I went away on the weekend. And I even went to church but something the pastor said got to me. He said you think your sins doesn't stink. You think you can do wrong and be right. You think you can make a mess and it will be fix. But God knows. All secrets belong to God and he will reveal them. And I left the church and went home and I called Mrs. Carpenter and said I could recommend another designer but she was mad for me. I avoided work many days and my boss threatened to fire me but he blackmailed me to work on and on and to continue the relationship. My friends heard and tried to help me. They found a loophole in the employment contract. And I quit. I lost my career. I lost my job. And I lost my dignity. Then I turned on the radio and the pastor said all is not lost all is not lost. You have your dignity. you have your respect. God still loves you and care. And I stopped the car and my head fell into my hands as I was miserable and down and depressed. And I said if there is a God I asked for his forgiveness and help me Lord. Help me. And immediately a thought came Open your own business. And I took the money for my unemployment and started my own company ethically. My story.
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