Dinner Anyone?

Well, dear, your dinner ended up on the floor. I’m so sorry. I know apologies don’t always make things right, but it wasn’t my fault. Of course, had you come home earlier last night, you could have tried it with me, and it was good, quite yummy. I enjoyed it while watching TV, but you were bowling.

Anyway, the portion of leftovers I was heating in the microwave is now at your feet. Turmeric was included in the seasoning, and that yellow will stain the white cupboards; yes, even the white quartz counters. You came inside just in time. I thought since I picked most of the chicken up right away, we could eat it. I’ll rinse it off first, of course. Oh, you want me to throw it away?!

What did you say? You want me to get out of the kitchen? That’s kind of rude. Yes, yes, so you can clean up the slop, okay, okay. I know how to clean, too, you know. All right, all right, I get it. You want to help. I washed my Crocs off in the sink, but the goo is all over my feet. I can’t just get out of the kitchen, I’ll track it everywhere! There, I've wiped my feet with the paper towels, you happy? Paper towels are your answer to everything, aren’t they??

I’m sure that once you have used an entire roll of paper towels, you will steam the floor too - but carefully, please, we don’t want to lift the hardwoods with water. Oh, and remember the baseboards and the fronts of the cupboards. It splashed everywhere. When I cooked the chicken, I left the skin on, so the juice has fat in it as well; so turmeric, grease, veggies - all over the floor and splattered everywhere. I'll go wash my legs in the shower. Be right back. I’m so sorry. It wasn’t my fault, though.

Let me tell you how this happened. Can you listen and clean at the same time? I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to insult you! We’re both acutely aware that my hands can’t hold heavier bowls. I can’t open tight lids, so I always ask for your assistance with those beautiful, strong hands of yours. It wasn’t the heaviness of the bowl, though. I had it all handled, so to speak. I wanted to reheat all of the food, so I began with the chicken dish in its juice, and then would heat the other vegetables and your brown rice. I planned to call you to dinner once all of it was hot. Of course, you always take your time coming, don’t you? Why do you do that? Do you prefer lukewarm food?

Sorry, I digressed. I put some of the chicken and the veggies I had cooked in the Instant Pot into that heavy glass bowl. Yes, that’s right, I can bake things in the glass bowl; that is why it is so heavy. I washed the Instant Pot last night after dinner and set it on the stove. I was going to put it away, but had not yet done so. All good intentions, right? I heated the chicken, then realized that by the time I heated the rice and the other veggies, the chicken and its juices might have cooled. I took a dinner plate and set it on top of the glass bowl as a lid, you know, to keep the heat in.

Just keep sopping up the mess, dear, while I finish my story. Wait, are you not paying attention? Should I stop until you have finished micromanaging the cleanup? I know you are trying to help me; please do remember the baseboards and cupboard faces. Oh, really? Now you want me to help with those? Geez. He wants to clean up, but the hard part, he wants me to do – the detailed part!

Shall I finish the saga of the dinner fallout? Okay. I put the dinner plate over the glass bowl, and whoosh! Next thing I knew, it was on the floor. The Instant Pot, that huge contraption - so useful but sometimes deadly - pushed it. Yes, that is what I said. The Instant Pot pushed it onto the floor.

What? How dare you tell me I had the bowl too close to the counter’s edge? Just keep wiping the floor, dear.

What’s for dinner, you ask? Well, I didn’t drop all of last night’s meal. There is still some I can heat up.

I’ll make a salad too. Just hurry back from the trash so the food is hot.

Ouch! I cut my finger while slicing the cucumbers and tomatoes. I can’t tell…tomato juice, or…? Blood. Biohazard galore. Oops. More green bin waste.

Where is that damned electric can opener? I know it’s..in the cupboard… there it is! Ah, round and round the can goes. Splat! What??

Hey, Hon, could you come help me? I had a little accident.

Copyright © 5/2/2026 by Andrea O. Corwin

I am grateful you read my work! 😃 If you liked it, please like it ♡, drop a comment, and subscribe for free. - - Andi

A/N - actually this did happen, just the other night - a few added details but the main dinner ended up on floor with a gooey mess everywhere. Yes, I had to wash off my feet and lower legs, and I made sure the baseboards were cleaned.🤣 I did not cut my finger or get blood anywhere. The glass bowl did not break.