Diary

October 19th, 2016

Where will I meet him? Or her? Will I be seized with passion to go somewhere, be somewhere, because deep within I feel I have to? Because the soul calls to me and mine calls to it. The bond. The surreal bliss, passion, addiction, serenity but also filled with excitement, thrill, joy...

Is that even a real thing?

How can you feel so much for one soul? How can it fill so many areas? I've always felt deeply about nature and art because they inspire passion and creativity in me. They bring bliss. Is it possible for me to feel this way for someone too?

I mean I have loved men before. I thought it was real and deep. But I was wrong. Because when I think today of them, I feel nothing particular. A sort of indifference maybe?... If he was gifted, maybe lust? But a nonchalant one, the one you feel for someone you don't really want or know but is well made.

And of course I love and will always love my family, blood or not, but that is fraternal love and multiplied by the numbers. But what about that unconditional love?

Have you felt it? Would you tell me?

A love bigger than the universe? A rare one in a lifetime... Is it same one each time you reincarnate?... What am I saying, of course it is. But do you meet your soulmate everytime? Every life? I hope so anyway, if it is true. Would it be everything I dreamed? But what is that exactly?

I usually don't need much to make me content because I have what I need. I love my lovely family, I love my arts, I love nature and smiles... I mean great sex with an interesting person is great but I really don't think that's what love is about. I think to be that profound and filled with all the perfect qualities I listed, the soulmate love would probably be weird, overwhelming but yet incredibly stunning. But it would be about the minds, the souls, the feelings before the physical, right? I mean I don't know, I'm asking. Who am I asking, anyway? You? Do you know?

Universe, eventually you will have to deliver all your secrets to me, not just some.

The love making is important, it's a big part of connecting with the other, feeling the soul. And the eyes are everything. Side note, I have noticed an intense amount of power in observing. Most people don't. They are afraid of powerful souls seeing into theirs. But I'm not scared because my soul shines through me. So maybe it's that. You find someone who you can stare into, forever. Someone who needs your soul close to theirs. Who would love you forever despite everything in the universe. Now tell me if that's a real thing. I mean, I feel like it should.

Most women and men let their imagined feelings get in the way of truth and happiness. But some balance their energies, who align their chakras, who fusion their masculine and feminine energies to become whole. I think only those can find their soulmates. So it's on us then to better ourselves before feeling all thoses feelings at once with someone. I mean, if it is a thing. Maybe I've been reading too much (pfff, that is definitely not a thing) or watched too many TV shows and movies. Stories are stories and people love love. So can we really love? Truly. Deeply. Unconditionally. Or do we just love to love? I do. But I'd love to love in a soulful soulmate way, I'm sure it's quite something. How do you know anything in this magical world? One who doesn't even recognize it's own magic.

Ps: Don't tell me chemists aren't modern sorcerers.

April 5th, 2020

I met him this march. The universe gave me the opportunity to travel with my friend to another country and I met him. He is everything I wrote about a few years ago. I became tunnel vision when I saw him. Light was pouring out of him and I couldn't stopped looking. Every single second led me to him, if you only knew how magical that realization is. We really do have cocreation power with this universe. When you embody the love you desire, you attract it, at the right perfect moment. Let's calibrate to the frequency of what we want. MAGIC IS REAL. It's us.

@kronyka