Cleaning Up for Vanessa

I logged in to Vanessa’s computer and was immediately disgusted. So much crap on her desktop! This has to be cleaned up. First, let's drag all the files to the trash. Next thing is to fix the desktop appearance from the standard view to her favorite color, yellow, and put a graphic of all the planets down the side. The screen isn’t bright enough, so I'll adjust that in the settings.

The system settings show several updates had not been done, so start the downloads. Notifications from the update say it will take another 30 minutes to download. I closed the laptop and went to make a cup of Joe.

Damn, that girl must make a shit-ton of money to afford this contraption. What is it called? Oh, a Lelit Bianca V3. Another Williams and Sonoma purchase, I’m sure. Where is her grinder? Ooh, another fancy appliance. I’ll grind the whole bag, what the hell.

The downloads should be almost done by the time this thing makes my coffee. Okay, here we go, turning the steamer knob. DAMN! It hit me on the cheek. Shit. OK, maybe turn it slower, that’s right. Noisy little bugger, aren’t you? Oh no, it’s overflowing, what the hell?? What a mess on the counter on floor. Dammit!

Where’s her cream? Nothing in this professional wall fridge. Let’s check the fridge in the garage. Ah, here is a new container. It’s so hot out here; opening the side door will let in some fresh air.

What is beeping? It’s not the laptop or the TV. It’s not the espresso machine. What is it? So many stairs, ugh. Nope, not her alarm. Let me kick up the A/C in here, so hot with these floor-to-ceiling windows. Well, I don’t know what the heck is beeping.

Damn, the update stopped. Now it’s continuing the download again. I forgot to leave the laptop open, so dumb. I’ll just organize her files while it’s downloading. These are all spreadsheets, so they should all go together in one place. No organization, Girl, shame! Now…her photos. Good grief. She doesn’t need duplicates on her desktop and in photos, too. Some are “favorited” in her files, so those definitely will stay. Oh, no, look at this ugly photo of her and that one of her mom! <delete.> There, gone. Good. Wait, whaaat? What is this file? Oh no! She is doing videos… Crap, I need to look at her root files. What the hell, Vanessa? Wait, there is a secret bank account, too? Holy shit, no wonder she can afford that thing in the kitchen!

Updates are finished downloading… another 30 minutes to install. Oooh, I need to teach her security. Look at that, I just transferred money out of her secret bank account to my account.

There’s the garage door, she’s home!

“Whitney, what the hell are you doing?”

“I am cleaning up your computer, sweetie. So many dead files and no organization. And you need to lock down your banking, Girl.”

“What the..? Why does the espresso machine smell like it is burning? What is that beeping? Dammit, you burned beans in my espresso, didn’t shut it off, and ran it out of water too! Why the hell is my side garage door open? Look at the moths and crickets in there! Do not ever leave a door open in my place! What were you thinking?? Wait, what did you say about my banking? Where are my spreadsheets? I had them organized by project. You know I hate the color yellow – why is my screen yellow? You can't red any letters on that screen. What else did you do?“

“I was just trying to help. I can change it back, you can stay there by the door; it’s okay, I don’t need your help.”

“It's so cold in here now. Dammit, just leave. Get out. GO. OUCH, oh, it hurts.”

“Oh no! Let me help you up. I must not have cleaned the floor as well as I thought. Are you okay? Oh my goodness, your arm looks broken.” I can’t believe she’s so mad. That’s probably why she slipped - she wasn’t paying attention.

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