Chocolate Confessionals: Entry I

Whenever I mention Montana, literally everyone thinks of half-naked cowboys. Not only that but the kind that works pretentiously hard just to have ladies see sweat gleaming on their firm shoulder blades, in the heights of the afternoon sun. So, I no longer try to explain the wonderful culture, the people, the vast farmlands, and the serene creeks that are all a part of who I am. This made it even less enticing to explain to people why I really left home.

Being from a small town nestled in a beautiful valley, I grow up around people with big hearts. However, my dreams and ambitions surpassed all of this.

My name is Ava Kalēta Raan, and this is how I ended up being burnt by the naked heat of a romance I did not understand.

Spring has always been my favorite time of the year in the valley. It is when my mother would find her special clay and create a sweet-smelling concoction for our deeply colored skin. Yes, we are black. My two sisters enjoyed it, especially the eldest as she incorporated it into her “self-care routine.” Springtime is when my father tells us stories of his father and how his heritage and features differ from many. For instance, where my mother is a beautiful petite black woman, my father was a tall black man with Indian features, easily seen through the shape of his eyes, and the lazy curls of his hair that perfectly framed his face. I could see why mama fell in love with him.

Beyond all these things, it was spring that taught me the importance of continual growth. To embrace the beauty of difference and the splendor of change. To dream beautiful dreams, even if they don’t have the most wonderful beginnings. And to feel, the wind, the cool mornings; his searing stare. That should be illegal.

I was 19, I had finished high school impressively early and was in my second year of college. It was right outside of town, and it is where I had gotten my first internship at a prestige fashion design firm. Though mama knew, I dear not told my father that I was designing high-end lingerie, even if they may end up on Victoria’s Secret models or exclusively in the bedrooms of luxurious multibillionaires. This would be mama’s and I secret.

I remembered how Sarah would joke about my design ideas. Of how they told interesting tales of maturity, class, and sensuous experiences that should not be coming from a 19-year-old who has never been in a man’s bed. Sarah was my best friend and amidst all the jokes, she would try without fail to have me model some of my designs that she brought to life. After deciding there would be little harm in doing so, I agreed. Within this firm, Sarah had her own space to work on projects that eventually turned designs like mine, into reality. That is where we began.

She decided that silver and cobalt blue looks divine on my skin and handed me a gorgeous heap of nothing. A one-piece lingerie with a bodice made of flirty longitudinal strings, that connected it to the lower lacy half of the fit. On each of my thighs were delicate rhinestone garters, that glistened rather sinfully. We got carried away. The more Sarah adjusted it to my frame, the more gorgeous it became. This piece did nothing to hide the figure I spent years covering. Yes, I had long legs and a flat stomach but the way my breast sat on my chest was almost unreal, and let’s just say these hips don’t lie. Regardless, this design gave me the type of confidence I never knew, and so the modeling began in her little enclosed work area. As we laughed, I added a few poses for good measure. While all this ensued, I couldn’t help but feel the heat of a stare that made the hair on my neck stand and the air in the room still. Sarah was completely oblivious to this shift in the atmosphere, and I wondered how the hell she made it to 21 perfectly intact mentally and physically.

Involuntarily, I started searching the room, first looking at the door then to the windows. That was when I made my discovery, a pair of deep-set green eyes, raking over my body shamelessly. Never in my life did I think that a pair of eyes could hold so much lust, heat, and desire in them. I gasped. The blinds at a usually empty office next door were only half-closed, and he saw everything.

Everything.

That is when realization dawned on Sarah.

Instantly, she started apologizing, telling me that the office is almost always empty. She did not for a second think anyone would be in it.

Apparently, one of the firm’s most important partners Lilyana owns the office but is away 95% of the time, as she resides in a different country. I couldn’t be mad a Sarah I knew she was honest and meant no harm. Throughout all of this, he was still staring not losing an ounce of intensity. Sarah angrily made eye contact with the beautiful stranger as she hastily covered my body with a robe. He smiled, licked his lips, then slowly turned to his desk as if nothing happened.

Of course, I just wanted to die.

I am sure that if Sarah looked hard enough, she would see some evidence of an impossible blush on my cheeks.

There and then, there was no forgetting those eyes. How they roamed over every curve of my body, but more importantly, how they rested on my face. How they studied my eyes, my lips, and my soul. I had no idea, but this was just the beginning of something.

Something smoldering.