Cancer

As I sit outside, and stare at the beautiful sky while the sun is beaming on my face, I ponder on life, I realized that the love my life is currently battling stage 4 Bile Duct Cancer, medically known as Cholangiocarcinoma. This battle begins to consume our entire life.

I forget how happy we once were, I forget how the tears never really came until now. I forget that I actually have a life. Everyone see us smile and be happy, but behind closed doors we are truly breaking and falling apart.

The sun begins to shine a little harder, and the wind begins to blow a little, while I soak up all the heat, I realize at that moment nothing truly mattered, I imaged living a normal life again, without all the tears and pain that my life currently is facing. I wish I could just lay here for a couple of days.

But, in all reality I have to go back to my life. As the sun begin to fade, the tears begin to flow, because I have to realize my life and my son life might be empty one day. How do I fathom life without him, I can’t imagine life without him. As I slowly sit up, I cover my face with my hands because my son begin to run over to me, as I pick my son up and tell him “I love him”, he says “mama it’s going to be okay, I will never leave you!”

I suddenly realized that, it’s the small things that matter, and never take life for granted. If I could go back in time and change everything I would make sure my guy would have never got cancer. As we begin to try to live a normal life, and enjoy the people that love us, we hold on to HOPE, FAITH, and most of all GOD! Praying that one day we can find a cure for this cancer.

As my family and his family come together to support our new reality in life, they begin to open their arms and hearts. They make sure that our son doesn’t get hurt in the end (which it’s going to break his heart regardless), they take on our slake and stick together. As my guy just finished up his last round of radiation and the Dr says “it’s nothing else that we can do for you.”

Your heart shatters in a million pieces, because we can’t just give up and let that be the END of it. We begin to search for. Clinical trials, hoping and praying that we can find one.

But, as time goes by we begin to make new memories, because memories last a lifetime. Moral of the story is never give up hope, we are all fighting silent battles that we do not speak on, but cancer right now is our new silent battle. I hope that one day we can find a cure and hope that things will get better over time. I know that it’s a lot of people that’s fighting cancer, and I would like for you to know that, YOUR NOT IN THIS ALONE, WE ARE FIGHTING WITH THIS WITH YOU!

Take care of the people that take care of you, and never give up on them. Because, we ALL need someone in life. No matter where life takes you, keep the FAITH and hold on to God hands because he will never leave you. I hope that my message will help bring more Cancer Awareness and also make you closer to your family and friends.