Can Luxury Buy Medication For The Bleeding Heart?

‘3, 2, 1! Happy New Year!’

The cheerful sound broke out everywhere and people were cheering each other.

The sound of fireworks and firecrackers was piercing the sky night.

The TV in front of me was showing the countdown to the new year.

Here I was in this French-style luxurious suite, in this exclusive six-star resort hotel located in the lush greenery of a reclusive area.

I was served a delicate dinner brought in by the waiter to my room.

The air was filled with beautiful soothing music and the room with soft lighting that exudes a vintage feel. I felt like I’m the royalty living in the Palace of Versailles.

Everything was perfect, except I was alone, all by myself.

I was scared to see the mobile phone text message notification.

It was dreadful to see the picture of him posting to show off their lovey-dovey interactions.

Just like the one I’ve seen at the company's annual dinner, that sent a wave of shock and chill to my spine. After the shock, then came the pain.

I lied to everyone that I was away with friends for New Year’s Eve, just to show that I was not alone — I also have my special one to spend the special moment with as well, just like them all. I even put up a happy face to show how excited I was looking forward to this memorable trip.

I skipped the family gathering on this day. My family thought I was having someone special as I don’t usually skip any major family gathering. They were all too eager for me to end my bachelorette’s life to have a family of my own.

I too, convinced myself that I will be okay by splashing such a luxury treat like never before to pamper myself. Or to be more precise is to pamper my broken heart that was bleeding non-stop. Told me that I’m strong and invincible.

I tried to use the luxury to get myself drunk and anesthetize my sharp pain.

Told me that I have no choice but to be strong.

There was no other client in this posh resort, in another word I had the whole resort just for myself like the super-rich people, what a privilege!

This will inflate my confidence and soothe my pain, so was my thought.

My schedule was fully booked for the entire week of my stay there with various types of personalized wellness programs. Among them was yoga, gym, water fitness class, trekking, etc.

I wanted to occupy my brain with all non-stopped activities to get him and her out of my mind. To show that I was perfectly okay with their show-off game on me, it doesn’t bother me at all. My life is still as good, if not better!

The New Year's Eve night went smoothly and I didn’t receive any ‘bomb’ of their show-off photos in our shared department WhatsApp group. I went to sleep early preparing for my next morning's one-to-one water fitness class.

On the very first day of the New Year, I woke up in a very quiet environment. I felt a sense of loneliness and sadness. When I walked to the swimming pool, the trainer was already there and he smiled and greeted me, ‘Happy New Year!’ I reciprocated but I just couldn’t bring myself to smile.

His face immediately sensed my sadness and his eyes were saying, ‘what a pity and lonely girl.’

I couldn’t hide my sadness about being alone on New Year's Day, and all alone by myself on New Year’s Eve. It was as though the whole world has abandoned me. Everyone was off to have a great time together while I was alone in this isolated quiet place here.

The luxury failed to make me feel good.

Now I can really comprehend why money cannot buy happiness.

I was served by an array of waiters with all the exquisite cuisine like a queen in this stunningly scenic resort. Yet I had a sense of loss, though felt safe away from my family frowns ‘alone again?’

This was my first ever New Year's Eve being alone and fleeing like a refugee so that no one knows I’m actually alone, all by myself. Yes, I think I was a refugee — a refugee of broken heart, that desperately wanted to flee from the heartache.

When I reached home I had to pretend that I had a very joyful New Year trip with someone special or my dear friends.

My most important person was probably with his new squeeze and had a fun time. This time he has learned not to hurt me like previously posting those photos in our shared department WhatsApp group.

He doesn’t know that he is the only man which made me spend such a big sum of money to cushion myself from his bloody betrayal, to stop the bleeding of my heart.

By hook or by crook, I must toughen myself to face him again after this new year break. No matter what, then only it is worth spending my money on. I told myself.

Yes, luxury can buy medication for the bleeding heart by toughening it.

* * *

* Originally published at https ://medium.com

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