Calm, Cool, and Protective

In my opinion, what might be the most accurate way to determine your true self is to observe how you react in either high stress, dangerous, surprising, or simply unexpected situations. In these times, we have no time to think or try to pretend, we can only react instinctually. And, in my opinion, these are the times to take note of. They show us a side of ourselves or someone else we may never have noticed or thought possible. Our instincts can be very telling, which is why I find it an interesting way to know more about a person. In this, I will actually speak of two separate occasions that incited the same instinctual reaction from me.

Both happened in high school or right after, but the first I will speak about was in my senior year. My close friend, Q, had just gotten on another girls' nerves in our Government class. This girl, L, tried to get easy answers from me and my friend spoke up, basically telling her to back off. L was very annoyed by this, but we pretty much forgot all about her and went on about our business. Class ends and we meet up with a third friend, A, whose class was next door. As we were walking away, we hear someone yell, “She’s STILL talking?!” We turn around to see L rushing toward us like a rabid animal. We later found out that it seems someone saw us walking away, speaking to our friend A, and assumed we were talking about what happened earlier with the annoyed girl, L. Which, funnily enough, we hadn't mentioned her once, at all. We honestly had moved on from that classroom situation and forgot all about her as she wasn’t important enough to mention, even as conversation between classes. Anyway, she started rushing our group, specifically Q. A few people tried to stop her, but most moved out of the way as she was visually quite crazed. As she was about to approach us, A tried pulling Q back, and me? Well, without even thinking I calmly stepped in front of my friend, blocking the rabid chick from reaching her. She actually managed to throw a punch that quite literally brushed the air in front of my face. Thankfully someone had managed to grab her around the waist and pulled her away or I may have been hit in that moment. The situation was settled with teachers separating everyone. Honestly, I barely registered what I did until my friends mentioned it to me with shock on their faces. I wasn’t necessarily surprised by my actions, I just found it interesting that I didn’t even think or consider whether that was the best course of action for me.

The second story of a similar situation happened outside of a friends house, with a completely different set of friends. What is most amusing, and also telling in its own right, is the fact that at first, I completely forgot this situation had ever taken place. My mutual friend, K, told me how the friend involved in the situation, AJ, had told her about what I did and how it really stuck with her. To me, I must have not thought much about what I did as it didn’t stick with me necessarily. Of course, once she told me the story I remembered, but I didn’t think of it as very remarkable obviously. I can't remember how many people in total were present but there was at least me, my friend AJ and another friend N. Friend AJ and N were fighting over something I have no memory of. Friend N was known for their dramatics, but this situation really took a turn as he got so worked up he attempted to run AJ over with his car. I remember all the yelling and threats and that he was very vocal about wanting to run her over. And, like a man of his word, he seemed as if he was going to go through with it when he got the opportunity of having her in front of him. And much like the first story, I stepped in front of her. Before N could roll forward very far I stepped in front of AJ and told N, in no uncertain terms, that he was NOT going to run her over. I knew he wouldn’t try to go through me to get to her. And I wasn’t even 100% sure he was going to go through with his threats, but I wasn’t about to trust him when he was angry enough to even say he would. I stared him down until he left and drove away. All I remember after is talking about how insane friend N was and why was he acting like that in the first place. I forgot all about this incident until my friend K mentioned it to me in passing. AJ had apparently told her about it and, in my opinion, built me up way bigger than what had happened in reality that day. But that’s what happens. Some things stick out more to others than yourself. She found it to be very brave and heroic, but most of all surprising because she didn’t know I was that type of person. Her opinion of me changed a bit after that day simply because of this one action.

I would never have noticed my actions themselves as significant if my friends in question didn’t speak about it constantly themselves. It's still a fan-favorite to talk about my first story to anyone who will listen. I'm still in close contact with friend Q and anyone who ever questions our friendship, my integrity, or simply try to know more about our joint past, that story gets told like it was the very first time. Of course, there are other situations as well that made me realize my ability to be reliable and protective in tense situations, such as being the only calm and proactive one among my roommates when we had a fire in our kitchen. I'm not one to panic outwardly and thankfully in stressful situations my panic gets put to the side for later. My instinct to protect and/or solve the issue comes to the forefront. I've always liked to consider myself a good friend and that I'd be there if my friends ever really needed me, so I enjoy seeing the evidence that I would. I usually have a very joking and non-confrontational personality and approach to everything I do, so many people misunderstand or underestimate who I really am as a person, my true self. Which is fine, because sometimes it’s hard to know your own true self, let alone expect others to assume it. Both of these situations I mentioned helped me realize both my true self and my instinctual reactions. It’s surprisingly pleasant when you realize that you can find out new things about yourself. You would think, being as you are you, you would know yourself fairly well. But there are always more things to learn. Your true self has more depth than one can explain or know in your lifetime. These actions I exhibited helped me understand my real self just a bit more, and they are traits that I'm proud to share as they show me to be calm, cool, and protective.