Black and White

COLORS

I was born at the beginning of the 60’s. Television was still new to the public. My parents purchased their first T.V. around my fourth birthday. I sat upon my dad’s lap and watched many shows growing up being the only female of eleven children, this gave me an advantage of being a daddy’s child. The movies were all in black and white. W. C. Fields, May West, Batman and Robin, Miss Kitty Show and Laurel and Hardy, were amongst my favorites to watch. In fact, the only time I watched television, was when my dad came home from work or on weekends.

Four years later, my parents grew apart. We moved to another city where, my brothers and I were not used to sirens and trains. We lived on a dead-end street in the country, which began adopting city attributes a little after we departed. It is officially a city now since the major constructions are completed.

Settling into our apartment home, was a transition we were not prepared for. My brothers and I, worry about our dad as we fell into a sound state of sleep. We were awakened by loud noises! Sirens, fire truck, ambulances and train horns We jumped! out of bed, stood in the middle of the floor looking at each other trying to figure out what the noise meant. Next, we ran to our mother’s bedroom. She explained the meaning as she, comforted our racing hearts every night for two weeks, until we adjusted to the sounds of the city.

A year has past since my parents separated. My mother worked three part time jobs, in order to purchase a floor model television with dials on the front panel, in a square wood frame that stood about three foot high, adding the four-eight-inch wooden legs, that are attached on the bottom. We were not allowed to change any channels for the first month or two. After that, it was the most highlighted part of our little lives. My brothers watched cartoons with a bowl of cereal on weekends in their pajamas until ten o’clock in the morning.

My bedroom was at the farthest part of the house. For me to get there, I had to walk through their room which was not as tidy as mine. Every night it seemed, the clothes, shoes and toys on their floor, would call out to me like a nightmare. I would get up and clean their room. Put their shoes, toys and clothes away. Including hang their clothes on wire hangers on wash day so they would not get in trouble. My brothers were always too busy playing for chores. You could say I was their cleaning Fairey.

I stumbled across the late show, about the age of ten. Mom yelled, “time for bed!” This was one of those nights, my brother’s room is calling to me for help. I clicked on the television after everyone was asleep, reached for the volume knob, to turn it exceptionally low. Appearing before me, is a white screen with black letters. “The Late-night show”. When that show signed off, another screen populated. This one is a solid black screen, with the words, “THE LATE, LATE SHOW” in bold white letters. I felt, as if I had a secret nobody knew but me. It felt kind of fun staying up after being told to go to sleep watching black and white movies. Soon, I found myself doing chores after hours so frequent, my mom approached me, while I sat in front of the television one night. She said, “make sure staying up late do not affect your waking up for school.” It did not which might be why; I took on night shifts for work when I became of age.

I sat on the wooden floor in front of the television and watched romance movies until, the station signed off at eleven o’clock. During that era, movies passed nine o’clock, were meant for adults only. Watching those movies today, would be not as steamy as what is portrayed in the present times. That was the reason I suppose, it was the last movie they showed every night. The national anthem music was the last viewing with the flag of the United States blowing in the wind over the screen. Finally, it turned white, with black circles like a dart board, a high pitch noise followed which forced you to turn it off! As if to say,” GO TO BED!” (laughing)

Black and White movies, also cartoons were the beginning of how I viewed life until, I saw romance movies that captivated my eyes, heart and soul. I anticipated watching those movies like, “I got out of bed on the right side”, Wuthering Heights, Betty Davis and Zsa Zsa Gabor., John Forsythe. The list is far longer than what I have mentioned. Which prompt me to ponder upon distinctness of my uniqueness. The colors, Black and White, may have psychologically affected me as a child as well as assisted with the building blocks of who I perceive me to be today.

My uniqueness of being a hopeless romantic, sentimental, courageous, protective, deflective, of what I do not choose to portray to the world, as my identity.

I believe the color Black psychologically, gave me the ability to be bold and take charge, chances towards my passions with integrity. Strength to continue to strive for what I seek. Even if it does not work as planned, I have the power to start afresh again. To write with profoundness at times and others, to convey upon a surface what is rare to me, in hope it is accepted in the passion intended.

White, psychologically promotes me to continue to be true and pure when it comes to love, of self and others I seem to be on a quest, to find that one person made just for me. White and black together, gave and gives me strength in hope, strength in faith as the color white represents “I love you forever,” strength to love. The mystery within my layers is as provocative as a glass of Steven I wrote for an Ekphrasis created on canvas in the right setting. White being infused within me at a young age may have helped me to hold on to part of my innocence, to search for the truth in things pertaining to me, loved ones and give only the best that I can to those It is due. White may have taken part of the spiritual aspects of me. However, I am unique in my own way as everyone upon the planet is. We may have similarities; we are not all the same. Take a bow for your uniqueness, laugh, smile, comical ways of expressing things.

Yeah, I have part of that too.