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Birth and rebirth

Giving birth, gave me a rebirth that I didn't see coming

By Talara NolanPublished about a year ago 3 min read
Birth and rebirth
Photo by Fé Ngô on Unsplash

It is said that if you want to hear a joke, tell God what your plans are. Life is what happens when you are making other plans. We all think that we need to have a major shift, a major change for things to really change. But sometimes it's something small, and sometimes it sneaks up on you.

Before I had my daughter, I thought I was on a track. I had accepted that kids were not in the cards for me. And I was making plans for my life, things that I could do. Especially being a single girl. Then I found out I was pregnant. And suddenly my entire life had changed. Suddenly nothing was the same.

You always hear about how having kids change you. That it changes your life. But until it happens to you, you don't really understand.

There were changes that I anticipated, such as how you spent your time and things that you did. Of course, there was a shift, a shift that you know will happen. But I wasn't prepared for the shift within myself. Suddenly, my life had nothing to do with me. Suddenly, everything was different somehow.

You look at this little person who is so depending on you for their life. Suddenly I was everything to this one person. I had never felt like I really mattered to anyone, not like that anyway. Then there was this little thing that only depended on me, that loved me unconditionally. It really makes you look at life totally differently. Suddenly, the things that I thought mattered didn't anymore. I didn't know anything about my life or my life direction, and I felt lost.

I wanted to value every little thing about life. I wanted to have the small moments and remember every single one of them. Suddenly, all the things I had didn't seem like they mattered anymore. I had all this stuff, but how much did I really like at all. How much was it really worth it to me? Did I even care? I only wanted the small moments of real value. The moments that don't involve things, don't involve phones, moments of just being present.

So I started to evaluate my life and the things that I had in it. I had all of these things, that I barely used. So I watched a documentary on Netflix, about being a minimalist. And it really helped me. So I started to look at the things in my life. I went one room at a time, one section at a time, and really considered what I had and if it brought value to my life. Anything that I didn't need, or that didn't bring value to my life, I got rid of it. It just didn't seem important to me anymore. I was surprised how much it didn't matter to me, how much that I valued other things.

My whole life, I always liked the stuff that I had. I was surprised at the shift within myself. I never expected to have that kind of shift. Stuff just wasn't important to me anymore. People would ask me what I wanted and I said nothing, or an experience I could have with my daughter.

I started giving her experiences for her gifts as well. Things like tickets to Disney on Ice for her birthday. I wanted to make sure that she valued experiences and time together, more important than more stuff. I wanted to make sure that I did the best thing for her. The last thing I wanted was for her to grow up in a world where all that mattered to her was stuff and money. I wanted people and experiences and time to matter to her.

Having my daughter shifted my mind, shifted everything about myself. I was never the same person. But with change, can come great things. It can make you great, better than you were before.



About the Creator

Talara Nolan

I am a single parent to a 4 year old girl and live with her in Canada. I love working out and have lost over 45 lbs over time. I would love to share what I have learned and all the things that have worked for me over time.

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