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Bipolar or Spiritual Awakening?

my thoughts on my own diagnosis

By Big DreamsPublished 8 months ago 3 min read

At some points along the way, I have hoped that I was "crazy".

The strangeness of the things I have experienced in the last dozen or so years, which eventually led to my bipolar, and then schizoaffective diagnosis, has often been unbearable to deal with.

Sometimes, I have even thought it might be both. Being out of touch with reality for any reason can make you feel like you're losing your mind.

From the very beginning I thought I was having a spiritual experience. I've always thought this was a process of waking up. I still do, now more than ever.

"Bipolar" is something I can fall back on when things get too strange to bear. It's a defense mechanism.

Everyone thinks I'm crazy anyway. I only occasionally get irritated and assure them that I am not. This, of course, only reassures them that I am, because crazy people don't know they're crazy. Case closed.

That's the last time I'll use that word.

I have some conclusions, currently, as to what I think is probably going on with me. And everyone else, for that matter.

If you hadn't noticed, the world has gone mad. Basically, since the health crisis of 2020, the world has shifted.

People are different.

There has been some subtle change to everyone, and while I'm not sure of the nuts-and-bolts cause, I'm certain it's true. People are showing their true selves. Everyone is.

It's why people seem different to you now.

Their masks are coming off.

If that isn't symbolic of the last few years, I don't know what is.

This reality has a heavy dose of symbolism that runs through the fabric of all events, all things and people. The same cycles repeat, people play their roles.

And no one suspects a thing. Not the average Joe. Maybe the Jungs and the McKennas do. And myself?

There might be some solipsism involved, but I think it's more likely that I am just viewing things form my own perspective, because that's the only way I can.

Your perspective, and reality, might look totally different from mine.

My perspective has been changing.

I think this is part of the process. I think the thing we call spiritual awakening is literal. We are in a type of dream. We are literally 'awakening".

I think this is a school. A very tough one for sure. Maybe we live in the Bronx of the spiritual Galaxy.

But it certainly feels like a school, and each of us is being tested. I think some of us will fail to graduate. Some of us will go on to Middle School (we are definitely in one of the lower grades). Some of us or only in first or second grade right now and are completely oblivious.

One of the Mandela Effects which I think is a big part of this reality change, is the population discrepancies.

This was a big factor in my wakening to the reality of the Mandela Effect. There used to be around 360 million Americans in the old world. I don't know the populations of the other countries, so I don't know if there are other discrepancies, but I think there probably are.

But I think that about 8% of the population is gone. Where to? I don't know. Maybe we left them behind on the old world. Maybe they left us behind.

I wonder about the fact that everywhere I go, there are staffing shortages in every store and restaurant. There are tons of excuses and speculations as to why. I think there are just less people now.

Anyway, these are things I think about, and they are just the ravings of a lunatic, right?


About the Creator

Big Dreams

Writer and artist who loves dogs, beaches, coffee and solitude

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  • Dana Esposito8 months ago

    ~ I agree that peoples “masks are coming off!” ~ I also believe there is a shortage of people working. ~ I love your humor. 💯

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