Anders

Diversity what a universally recognized concept. One that has become more recognized, encouraged and diversified in the last few years.

How am I different? What makes me unique? Is it the fact that I grew up in a country that just came out of the most prejudice period of its existence? Or the fact that I am an imperceptible mixed raced spawning from that period. Or maybe it's my personality, or my traditions, or my nationality, or my gender. What makes me, me, and how is that special? Who am I?

My name is Lee-andri, a unique name in itself and for some incredibly hard to pronounce properly. In my mother tongue there is a word for different namely “anders”. Not until I was asked to write this essay did, I actually realize how much my name resembles that word. I was born and raised as a Caucasian African, born to a Dutch heritage father and indigenous African mother shortly after the end of an era where differences meant discrimination, the Apartheid regime. The irony is I never even realized I was a mixed race until the bullies that came with grade 4. As usual the local gossip picked up on the fact that my mother was not Caucasian and that bled into the children, who can be so much harsher. This is where I decided that society will not dictate the person I choose to be because of my race.

Due to those governing rules my mother grew up oppressed and my father grew up entitled, she was made stronger for it and he was made weaker. Later they would realize that they can’t accept each other’s differences, unfortunately, not before I played peacekeeper between the two of them for the better part of my teens. You would think that two people deciding to be together when they could go to prison for doing so would have built a stronger bond? This is where I learned to love differences.

My father was a restless soul and so I was in 10 schools by the time I reached grade 10. Now I think he was trying to run away from the oppression and discrimination he faced because of my mother. At the start of grade eleven he suggested trying a different continent all together and so my hard-earned grades became null and void in a foreign school, where I only needed to complete 1 year to graduate. I did so with honours, and so learned that my education doesn’t define me.

We landed in Canada on September 6, 1999 and life changed dramatically. After graduation I sprouted my wings and set out on my journey of self-discovery. In the years that followed I was made to face many truths about myself. Canada offered acceptance, freedoms and resources to so many opportunities and I was overwhelmed with the many doors it opened for my future. In my exploration of the vastness that is Canada, I landed in a college that rocked my faith foundation to the core. The environment was judgemental and restrictive in ways I had never before experienced. It took me years to recover from that and through that experience I recognized that my faith is not defined by others, it is what defines me.

Another realization I made while exploring self was a hard-hitting one: realizing how racist I was even though “I had never judged another based on their skin colour”. My racism was born from fear. After apartheid there was a lot of people very hurt and very angry, being a young Caucasian female in that environment meant pretty big trouble, possibly death. So, I became a fear based racist toward African males. Canada helped to open my eyes to the truth and the kindness of strangers, no matter their colour or gender. I learned a basic truth: that you should never fear a book by it's cover.

In Africa being a woman held many restrictions, mainly due to the Dutch heritage on my father’s side, so I guess I grew up a little entitled and entrapped at the same time. Then Canada happened and the entitlement/entrapment fell away. The entitled side of me felt unjust and angry, while the entrapped side felt elated and hopeful. Making peace with letting my entitled side fade, while learning that my life is only as limited as I make it, has helped me realize that being a woman gives me strength and that makes me bolder.

Recently we all faced a global pandemic in which we all had to come face to face with our values, relationships and many aspects that have been placed on the back-burner. For me I had found that family isn’t always connected by blood and to make the most of every moment we are given. I took the challenge that was the pandemic and decided to live life to the fullest. I got married to a Brit and we sold all our belongings and started a new life on Vancouver Island, where we’ve been blessed with beautiful new relationships and stunning vistas. Though I’m still living this process I have found that my economic standing doesn’t determine my eternal soul.

And finally, with having gotten married last year I am finally learning to love my hormone imbalanced body for what it is. I am perfectly and wonderfully made, overweight or not, because my physical appearance doesn’t reflect my essence.

I’m as flawed as the rest of humanity and I relearn some of the mentioned lessons but this is me and that is okay.