An Introvert in the Spotlight!

It was March, 2022. I was freshly out of my home, finally, after two long years due to COVID-19, and back in my favorite city — Chandigarh. This is where I’ve spent most of my early 20’s — college, exam preparation, and everything.

I am a bit of a nerd, or I thought I was. So, I never thought of doing anything except studying, cracking the top government exam in the country, and becoming a Civil Services Officer. But when I used to look at my sister, who is a fashion designer, I always felt a little bit envious of her — how she didn’t have to sit in the library all day, she could have fun whenever she wanted, go out, paint while blasting music in the room, watch Korean dramas endlessly.

It was more about the guilt surfacing every time I used to steal some time from my busy schedule and have fun with my cousins. There was this dilemma where on the one side, “I am only young once and I want to be free and have fun,” and the other side was like, “ This the most important time of my life, I should focus and get this job as soon as possible. After that, I can do whatever I want.”

Then in my first two attempts, I couldn’t get through it. The exam.

Then Covid happened.

The dilemma persisted at home, a constant decision between rest and relentless focus, a decision complicated by the freedom my cousins enjoy. Living in a joint family means never having a room to oneself, with interruptions a constant presence whenever everyone is home.

But still, it went on. I appeared once again and got nowhere. And now came 2022. I was tired of suppressing my desire for creativity and freedom. I wanted to explore the world beyond my books, to work, to create. But I was 25 and I had no real skills. So, what do I do? No idea. But, I decided to give my life a chance where would see what I could do. So, here I was in Chandigarh. I started by giving private tuition to kids.

It was March 2022 and my sister, the fashion designer, their brand was participating in the Lakme Fashion Week in Delhi. Lakme Fashion Week is a kind of New York Fashion Week in India, and I have dreamed of attending it since childhood. So yeah, I was pumped. I was excited. I had packed things for my little 2-day trip to Delhi.

I got on the first train and reached my sister’ flat. Excitement was bubbling up within me. As an introvert, meeting new people was daunting, but I was determined to push past my comfort zone.

As I entered the venue, the atmosphere was electrifying, filled with fashion enthusiasts and industry insiders. I felt a bit anxious about how I fit in between these people. But still, I carried on.

It was all hands on deck for my sister, juggling her duties like a pro. Models were getting dolled up, and I was off to the side, soaking in the scene, clicking away with my sister. Then, out of the blue, she was like, “Can you go fetch the photographer from the gate?” And just like that, I was off on a little errand!

I was so nervous! Couldn’t even chat with the guy except for a quick hello; Delhi people are chatty. On my way, I was telling myself, “I am confident. I am bold. It’s easy for me to meet new people and interact with them. Today is such a great day for me.” etc., etc.

I know I can feel people rolling their eyes reading this like how introverted and socially awkward someone can be.

But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do!

I went to the gate, looked for the designated person, and called him, but he didn’t pick up, looked around, and finally gave up after five minutes of phone calls and looking around and started taking selfies. And then, I got the call from that person and he was like,

“Ma’am, please stop taking selfies. You are already beautiful. Just help me get through this gate, I am already late.”

Feeling embarrassed, I lend a hand with the gate pass. Surprisingly, he seemed quite friendly and our conversation flowed easily. He asked me about what I do and everything. The one question that everyone has had on their top list since the second I landed here is,

“Ok, tell me what do you do?”

It’s a normal question to ask, but it's a bit uncomfortable for people like me, who are unsure of what they’re doing with their lives and have started all over again.

In short, I shared my story of preparing for government exams, how life unfolded, and my current phase of taking a break to figure things out. Initially, everyone was a bit surprised to learn that I wasn’t working or hadn’t even worked in my life ever and then they were like, “Yeah, it’s OK.”

Now meeting people and interacting was not the difficult part; instead answering this question to everyone was.

I met some more friends — two brothers. I will call them S & S. They were cool, hippie souls. After meeting them and spending the entire day with them I realized that I wasn’t an introvert which I thought I was. I am cool with people — people of my vibe. We gave a brief interview about our style, giggling, having drinks, and waiting for the show. It turned out that I had the first row ticket and they had the last one.

The show finally started. I was sitting in the first row with the influencers, other designers, and celebrities. It was a dream come true, a moment of pure magic. The music started, and the first model started walking. The collection, the representation everything is amazing. I was spellbound with those 30 minutes. It was the best part of my day.

Then as I came out of the hall, my excitement peaked when I spotted one of the country’s top designers, Manish Malhotra. I couldn’t resist taking a selfie with him. The day was just getting better and better.

Then the group was ready to celebrate, we had more drinks, danced, showed off our ramp walks, and then left for the actual party.

We were at Summerhouse, and it was packed! The music was blasting, the drinks were flowing, and everyone was having a great time. There I met this lady, talking she turned out to be a strong political leader, and we discussed the elections, the politics and she was impressed with my knowledge. She insisted on paying for our food, even though I tried to refuse. Maybe she just really liked me? Anyway, she gave me her number and told me to call her if I ever needed anything in Delhi. Now that was a connection!

From that day, that trip, I have learned much about people and myself and how we often have these mental rules that tell us who we are and keep us in our comfort zones, preventing us from breaking out of our cocoons. For me, my cocoon was avoiding socializing and being open to new people. However, on that day, I took a leap and felt a significant shift in my personality. I now feel much more confident and at ease around new people. My communication skills have also greatly improved, making me feel more self-assured and approachable.

This little trip has won me new friends in my life, new connections, an open mind, and new ideas, and it taught me that it’s okay to be lost, to not have all the answers.

What’s important is to embrace the journey, and to open yourself up to new possibilities and experiences.

As I returned to Chandigarh, I did so with a newfound sense of confidence and a world of opportunities awaiting me.