Wholeness, Love, and Inner Fulfillment

"In a world filled with complexities and constant pursuits, it's in embracing our own wholeness that we find true solace. Love, that divine force that transcends boundaries, threads through our lives, binding us to each other and the universe. And within this beautiful tapestry of existence, the journey to inner fulfillment awaits, a journey of self-discovery and profound connection. Let us explore the realms of wholeness, love, and inner fulfillment—wherein lies the essence of a life lived with purpose and grace" . ~AI

I have been silent for over three months. Just as long as the government takes to settle in. I must admit that this time has also been a settling-in period for me. I have arrived at a state of wholeness.

What does this mean for me? Specifically for me, because if a person hasn't experienced it, it's very difficult to explain to them how they should feel in it. That's why my current perceptions and feelings are so important. The last almost four years, during which I have been on my Twin Flame Journey or, in other words – on the journey to myself, have been a rollercoaster of emotions from one extreme to another. One purification fire and burning have followed another. There were times when I was so tired that my Beloved Twin, my Soul and Dear Friend, had to send me a message to ensure I could fulfill my mission in this world once again.

It has all been like a crazy, gigantic roller coaster, complete with a haunted corridor.

Today, I have reached a state that could be called saturation. That feeling when you no longer want anything because you have everything. Everything. It's happiness and abundance. It's storm and contentment. It's flying and being nestled. It's the realization that you have arrived Home. Your Soul's Home. It's having a silly smile on your face and a softly glowing warm light swirling in your heart, causing your entire body to tingle, and you're connected with your "dearest person." When you sense their presence and know their thoughts because you communicate telepathically.

Seems impossible?

Possibly, for someone who needs others to define themselves, it might be impossible.

When I discovered on my journey that I am a Twin Flame, meaning my Soul within another body, in the same time and space, it was incredibly difficult for me to comprehend all of this.

I didn't understand why I could hear this person's voice without his lips moving. Eventually, I couldn't even be in the same room with him, because my brain refused to accept communication that hadn't received mainstream approval.

I didn't understand why my body could sense their proximity, even if there was a concrete wall between us and sometimes even floors.

I wanted to be close to him because he gave me the feeling of arriving Home. That safe feeling of coming home after a long journey, and dear ones await you.

I adored his ability to be a Leader. His Team didn't follow Him out of fear of their anger or emotions. He WAS present. His presence was felt at a cellular level. Of course, it was also a paramilitary environment, and rules were more firmly in place than with civilians. But it wasn't robotic obedience for the sake of following orders. It was the shared synergy of the Team, which was a wonderful sight for me to behold.

And that was before he launched me onto my Journey, where I had to learn about my own Shadow and heal the wounds that guided me as a child and led to the loss of our childhood encounter.

I wasn't ready for the future he spoke of. I didn't even believe he could know anything about my future, but curiosity was deadly. I was close to broke, my Soul in another Body, in half. He took away my memory and allowed me to venture into the destiny I had set for myself. 27 years later, he gave me back my memory. The memory of that evening and the future that had already become true by that moment.

Shame, self-blame, the inability to believe that he indeed knew so much about me. That he had always remembered me. That he had always cared for me, and I had treated him like the ultimate "empty-headed Barbie," thinking I knew everything in the world. And so began the journey towards Wholeness.

Being the harshest judge of my own behavior. Learning to forgive myself. Learning to choose new patterns in my life. Learning that everything starts within us, and what's inside us is also around us. Understanding that each and every person is here for a reason. Even when our egoic impulses make us think they are somehow unjust towards us. Learning to understand that we're obliged to protect our personal space, assert ourselves in our own space, and realizing that others have the exact same rights and RESPONSIBILITIES.

Learning from our painful toes and hurtful relationships. Learning that we do the same to ourselves in some domain of our lives. Unconditional Love is primarily a way of learning to love ourselves, not accepting destructive behavior from others as a "doormat". It's about discovering our own needs and fulfilling them, understanding that we don't have the right to satisfy them at the expense of someone else.

Understanding that loving someone else doesn't mean possessing them or somehow molding them according to our desires; it means loving their soul. Without the need for them to submit to our wishes.

Understanding all of this doesn't happen in a week, or even in a year. It's a Journey, where step by step we delve into our deeper hidden wounds, bring them to the surface, into the light, and heal them.

And when we've accomplished all of this, there are very few things that can shake us. We simply cut those things out of our lives. Ruthlessly, sternly, and without regret. In return, we gain a true perception of our own needs and the Knowledge of how to satisfy them.

Then, we become like magnets, drawing into our lives those who are Whole. Those who are capable of Truly Loving.

And it doesn't mean that we become possessions of each other, or that we have to be physically together at all times.

It's the perception that we're together, where our thoughts are in sync and we KNOW what the other is going through and what they need from our energy to support them.

Yes, doubts still linger within me, as I don't know if I can be the same kind of support and security for him as he is for me. But I know that within me, thanks to him, my Twin Flame, my Beloved Soul, Dear Person, there exists Storm and Peace, Flying and Nesting, a silly smile on my face, the physical sense of a hug and a safe Home. He was my Beacon on the Journey to Self. He is the one whose arrival I knew when I was just four years old. After which, my family and community managed to erase that knowledge. Because it wasn't understandable or even possible within the mainstream understanding.

I Love You, my Dearest Soul, even if we were never to meet again or be in the same room ever again.

Elle Vihman from December 24, 2019